Life Keeps Getting In The Way..

My youngest daughter has now been in the hospital for five days, and the White Fire is contained. I still have not been able to return to the single-wide and barn for life just keeps getting in the way.

I received a text early this morning telling me that my daughter's leg was diagnosed as MRSA, her heart biopsy showed no damage. She has a healthy heart. Her lung biopsy was inconclusive seeing as they could not complete the procedure for fear of puncturing the lung with her already broken ribs. I want to say "thank you Lord," for sparing her the heartache of lung cancer ... and I do feel that she has been blessed. But I know nothing of MRSA and I'm a little unsure what the prognosis is. So I am walking very carefully.

Three members of my family are in emergency services, two work in a hospital, two give medical assistance in life and death situations. Having medical problems to face brings a multitude of professional opinions and I am being inundated with information about MRSA, but I am trying to sort the wheat from the chaff because I have not spoken to the doctor himself.

I understand that she is going to have to remain in the hospital for another 3 days, because the doctors are going to try to put a tube in her vein to her heart - and I have no idea what is going on, so I am an emotional wreck.At this point I have no help on the horizon when it comes to getting the roof on the barn, and getting the single-wide renovated so I have somewhere to live. Even though so many other things keep distracting me, making it impossible for me to focus on one thing, getting that home livable is always on my mind.

It's just very easy for me to become frustrated when life is spiraling out of control with too much going on, for each is life threatening, stressful to handle if I was in a home. Virtually impossible to deal with when you have multiple events coming one after another - and you are homeless.

I am very tired. The weather is simply fabulous. In the 70's, sunny and welcoming. Even those friends with no construction knowledge have stopped asking me if there is any progress for they know that finding help has been a nightmare without an end.

IF the district attorney had been able to force Robert Huckins to reveal where he hide our building fund it may have been a totally different scenario. I would have been able to buy a home ready to live in and get everything organized without help.

But as a local businessman said," it is what it is." I have a convicted felon and his wife laughing at me because they got away with stealing the money, and I still have no idea how to get this project jump started despite being desperate and so very ill.


Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

A Dark Hole Of Uncertainty

No diagnosis has been made ~ that we are aware of ~on my youngest daughters heart & lungs though she underwent heart biopsies, and an unsuccessful lung biopsy yesterday. Each time I spoke to her she was either going into or coming out of surgery and was sedated. Unable to communicate. But I think it will end up being Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) within the organs, for that has been the diagnosis of her infected leg.
If that does become the diagnosis for her heart and lungs it will not be a good prognosis but it will not be lung cancer - thank God.

She is stressed to the maximum and with a lot of justification. I am so thankful that the hospital staff were conscientious enough to admit someone who wasn't covered by insurance, and whose finances have been severely depleted by the recession. The doctor who admitted her is truly an unsung hero.

Where to from now I don't know, and I'm not able to take the situation easily. Four days with virtually no sleep has left me looking like a rag doll left out in the mud and rain, and I suspect that this is going to be a long haul - even though I know so little about MRSA.

Robert & Sylvi Huckins looked me right in the face and told me that "they didn't care about the lives of the victims. " In fact Robert Huckins expanded and said that he "only cared about HIS family."

But I care. I cared deeply about Dorothy and the plight he left her in, and I was furious when the courts told her to return the $200 he had repaid her having stolen almost $100k of her money. And I care about MY family. My mother, my daughters, my grand-children.

I am trying to find those who care about the victims. Robert Huckins came down with pneumonia while in jail ~ not severe ~ and the judge let him go free. Dorothy died trying to get her building fund back. So who was protecting Dorothy?

This man laughs and mocks at his victims, yet he's handled with kid gloves. 27 years in jail suspended and a meager $450 a month restitution is leaving MY family in serious straits. Please God, correct this injustice if no other can or will, and place a hedge of protection around my daughter and her family.

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity. ~Louis Pasteur

A New Level Of Despair

I thought I had gone through a level of hell on earth that couldn't be surpassed. I've been homeless for over 3 years while frantically trying to find our building fund. I have fought the judicial system and pulled politicians into this injustice. I have watched judges do the absolute incomprehensible.

I have sat in below freezing weather wondering if it would die of hypothermia during sleep, while looking at warm comfortable homes around me. I have stood with raw sewage around my feet more times than I dare to remember, lived in dire means trying to recover and get a home on the land we bought and paid for and watched my belongings destroyed.
And I watched those sworn to protect and serve just sit back and let Huckins walk away with our building fund right under their noses.

The losses have been huge: Beloved pets dying, my career in a shambles, my mother a nervous wreck wondering what has happened to her home, missing her family so, and my health failing.

I have been suicidal, optimistic, pessimistic, deathly ill, on-top-of-the world and down in the valley depending on what hopes came on the horizon - only to be destroyed again.

But nothing could even equal the past 36 hours. If you rolled the entire 3+ years of bottomless pit misery into a 36 hour period you still couldn't get close to what I have felt in those past hours.

Last night I just lay there too exhausted to move, yet far too stressed to sleep. My heart was somewhere in my stomach and that ghastly feeling of helplessness and hopelessness engulfed me pulling me down to a place no person wants to go to.

They say that God doesn't give more than a person can cope with. But I disagree. Life for some can become so bad that people cannot cope with it any longer.

As I write this my youngest daughter, 34 years old, is in surgery, having a biopsy to determine if the mass in her lung is malignant or benign. If she will live, or die. And my emotions are spiraling. It's hard trying to tell her to be brave when you are at the end of the rope yourself.

It's even harder trying to tell her that God WILL take care of her, that justice will prevail, while you are going through indescribable hell yourself. If God will take care of her, why hasn't He opened the doors so I can have a home and get our lives back together?

Now I am on my knee's in absolute terror. Heavenly Father, if You have not heard me in the past 3+ years I implore You to hear me now and please, in Jesus' name - spare my daughter any more health problems. Make this a mere hiccup instead of a horror we cannot withstand.

Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength.~Frances de Sales

95% Contained

That was the news of the White Fire last night. The winds are simply awful. I woke up so stiff and cold having spent a night being battered by arctic winds that refused to subside. We owe the men and woman fighting this fire sincere appreciation for this cannot have been easy for them.

Winter returned on the high winds. Freezing cold fingers rushing through the mountains leaving nothing untouched. I froze all through the night, but I think I am so physically and emotionally depleted that I no longer have what it requires to withstand any more hardship and adversity.

During the night the raccoons returned to finish off my packed belongings sat in the shed, scattering contents and books all over. I have no way to keep the wildlife out and I am so tired I couldn't even see the humorous in this. I just expend so much energy trying to keep my life together, try to get a home, when time and circumstances just keep ripping everything apart.
The boxes of possessions being ruined somehow represent what has become of me.. torn apart, water soaked, broken, scattered. I look like a gypsy sat in a small backyard shed and nothing I do, no matter how hard I try, changes anything.

My boss threw me a boomerang yesterday when he announced that a New Mexico judge owned a 2nd home right across the road from the shed I have been living in. I just stood dumbfounded. "You mean I have been homeless walking distance from a judges SECOND home for 3 years?" He just smiled and said, "Yes."

In England I would say "gobsmacked." I was thoroughly gobsmacked. I have the pastor of the Presbyterian Church to my left, a New Mexico judge behind me, and a member of the First Baptist Church to my right.
Words often fail me.

My youngest daughter is sat in a hospital bed so scared that my heart is simply breaking. Her doctor phoned me very early this morning to explain what they have found, explaining the no-one would know anything until after they remove the fluid and biopsy the mass in her lungs tomorrow. Listening to her sob in sheer terror was more than I could stand.

I am literally on my knee's begging God to spare her anymore health problems. The worst scenario is so bad it's not something we can weather, and I am begging for a good report, a minor problem that appears major. A reprieve. Not a "but" and "if" in sight, but an absolute clean bill of health without any possibility of error ~ and a genuine understanding that God has spared her for a purpose.


It is the weak man who urges compromise -- never the strong man.~ Elbert Hubbard

Cup Runneth Over

There are times when your cup runneth over and it feels like Niagra Falls coming at you.

I expected that today would be an exercise in frustration because the high winds refuse to die down, and I still can't find any help to finish the single wide and get the roof on the barn. These shocking migraines continue to plague me - and quite honestly I am beyond panic struck. I started to have some serious anxiety attacks as March went into April without any progress.

Before noon I received a phone call that my youngest daughter was being admitted into the hospital with a mass in her lungs that looks too much like lung cancer for comfort. Without a correct diagnosis it's too early to start to panic - but with a family history of cancer and lung cancer after the phone call came it was too late to tell me that I shouldn't panic. Panic was right on the top of the list and I managed to succeed doing that with as much proficiency as I have failed getting into a home.

Being homeless desperately trying to get a house finished for this length of time brings such insecurity that you can never get your feet on the ground - you remain dangling off a cliff vulnerable to everything. Your earning potential is depleted, you are chained to the absolute desperation of trying to do what starts to look impossible. Get a roof over your head and be able to spend time with your mother and family, return to your career. HAVE a life.

I'm unsure if I should throw caution to the wind and travel across the country to see to my youngest daughter - or pull my hair out in frustration. I can't imagine the sheer terror they are going through with no health insurance and finances already stretched to the limit.

No ordinary work done by a man is either as hard or as responsible as the work of a woman who is bringing up a family of small children; for upon her time and strength demands are made not only every hour of the day but often every hour of the night. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Hanging By A Thread

Whatever happened to the weather last night I will never know, because after so little sleep since the start of the White Fire I was out like a light. I woke up at 5.30am so stiff and sore I felt like I had gone through the frigid winter again. Even by noon my hips, spine and shoulders were so stiff I could hardly walk.

Even though it's in the 60's, it's windy and pretty depressing.

Someone posted a photo of a home made out of a renovated fire tower that is simply delightful. I can't even manage to get this single wide livable but the fire tower is so gorgeous I couldn't resist dreaming..



This is one of those days you literally chew your lips with frustration. Even with help there really isn't a way to work on the property - which is as well, because I don't have the help I need.

I heard about the diesel Ford350 yesterday, the new owners need to put in a new motor amongst many other repairs. They are looking at a minimum $5,000 repair cost. It somewhat breaks my heart that something that looked so clean and pretty was no longer financially feasible to keep running. I miss it a lot. Work is so much harder - and often impossible - without a hauling truck, but everyone I know who has owned a 2003 diesel powerstroke motor has had the same heartache with them once they pass the 140,000 miles. The warranty on Jan's powerstroke just expired and her repair costs, while under warranty, are terrifying her now that she will have to pay for them.
There is a lot to be said for horse power.

I'm not too sure how I can get the work on my property started, or if I can do it. Emotionally I'm hanging by a thread pretty frightened that I will have to face another winter homeless. I desperately need a miracle. A wondrous miracle.

People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

50% Contained?

We are getting two different reports. One claiming that the White Fire is 30% contained, the other saying that the White Fire is 50% contained.
The winds whipped up during the night but quickly subdued when a light rain started.

White Fire 50 percent contained

Alamogordo Daily News
By Duane Barbati, Staff Writer
Posted: 04/06/2011 11:06:34 PM MDT

The White Fire north of Ruidoso Downs is 50 percent contained as of Wednesday night, a fire incident command spokeswoman said.

Public Information Officer Margo Witt said the acreage is at 10,341 acres.

"The fire was contained further with winds between 20 and 25 mph," Witt said. "Our fire fighting lines held Wednesday. We're going to continue to monitor the fire throughout the night (on Wednesday). They've been making good progress and today (Wednesday) was a good day to test that progress. They've got some good strong fire fighting lines to hold or continue to contain the fire."

She said the fire is now being contained just north of Ruidoso Downs on Lincoln National Forest land.

"So far we've had no injuries from the fire," Witt said. "We have the Type II team fighting the fire now with several hotshot crews from across the country, New Mexico and engine crews from statewide."

The cause of the fire is still under investigation by the U.S. Forest Department. It began Sunday in Gavalin Canyon, New Mexico State Forestry spokesman Dan Ware said.

The fire has destroyed five houses in the area and several barns and outbuildings.

I remained awake until late in the evening, unable to sleep with the winds beating the side of this shed. Even though my adult children are no longer on the line - someone's children are, and the fear that the winds would become problematic kept me awake.
Before daylight I was wide awake searching for an update.

The damp had activated the mold in the shed I am staying in, and even before I fully woke up I was freezing cold and smell of damp and mold started to unsettle me. With a few days of high winds forecast I am praying that God will calm the sea - in this case mountain - and give these men and women the chance to get this fire fully contained. Then we will have to worry about the monsoon weather. Ever since Robert Huckins stole our building fund I have spent the spring under water, ankle deep in rain and sewage. My boxed belongings being ruined.

This year that same worry will plague those in the wildfire region who no longer have the growth to retain the rains, and flooding now poses a real danger to those living and working in those area's.

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.~ John F. Kennedy

Smoke Free Ruidoso

With the weather going back into the 70's, and a 5-11 mph breeze, my mind and heart has gone back onto my single wide and barn, but with the warm weather returning virtually everyone have found themselves too busy to spend any time helping me.

Last night I had the most bizarre nightmare I have ever had. I dream't that I was so distraught that I couldn't get a home that I took an overdose of Phenylbutozone. The nightmare unsettled me so much I woke up sweating, and the only reason I would have such a horrendous nightmare is the stress of the White Fire, and the loss of 5 homes. It reached me on a subconscious level emotionally. It opened the raw wounds of losing mine, and the struggles I have faced, of being a homeless person watching others lose their homes.

Even after I woke up I kept asking myself why I continued to do the impossible alone, that itself seemed as bizarre as the horror of the nightmare.


By the time I was fully awake I realized that I had no alternative but to keep trying to do what has thus far been the impossible.

Still, I am terribly confused and frustrated how to "kick start" this project, and cannot deny otherwise.

The White Fire still burns but it's left the immediate Ruidoso Downs region so getting updates is very difficult. The local fire departments were pulled off the fire when the hotshots arrived from across the southwest.

We are sincerely appreciative for our local fire departments, and those who have come to help from other area's. Hotshots, emergency personnel and so many others. Even though we cannot "see" the danger it's still very much present, and I pray for those in harms way.

The only real nation is humanity. ~ Paul Farmer

Will The High Winds Return?

WHITE FIRE NEWS RELEASE
April 5, 2011 10:30 AM

Acres: 10,089 Start Date: April 3, 2011
Cause: Under Investigation. Location: North of Ruidoso Downs, NM
Containment: 20% Fuels. Type: Piñon/Juniper, brush/grass
Terrain: Steep and Rugged. Resources: 5 Type 1 Crew; 7 Type 2 Crews; 2 Helicopters; 16 Engines; 5 Dozers
Total Personnel: 401 Structures: 5 homes lost with numerous outbuildings
Injuries: None

A decrease in winds and cooler weather yesterday, along with assistance from air support, allowed firefighters to make significant progress on the White Fire. The fire is located north of Ruidoso Downs and west of Forest Road 120.

Today, crews will continue patrolling and conducting mop up operations, searching for and extinguishing any smoldering spots along the fire area near affected subdivisions and along NM Highway 70. Travelers are cautioned to drive carefully along NM Hwy 70, due to an increase in fire traffic.

Warmer conditions and slightly stronger wind speeds are expected today potentially increasing fire behavior where the fire is more active along the northwest flank.
Increase in acreage is due to accurate GIS mapping conducted during an aerial view of the fire yesterday.

All evacuations were lifted on Monday and school activities are scheduled to resume normal operations today.

Smoke will become more visible from the town of Ruidoso and surrounding areas this afternoon towards the northeast area of the White Fire as temperature trends become warmer and winds from the southwest increase.

For further information on the White Fire, call the fire information center at 575-257-3473 from 7 am to 9 pm or visit http://www.nmfireinfo.com. Residents interested in receiving updates on this and other fires throughout New Mexico can also follow @nmfireinfo on twitter.com.

Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.~ Frederick Wilcox

White Fire Blessings?

There are times in which I am never too sure how to count blessings.


The White Fire, when last I heard, was contained by 20%. The high winds that send a wildfire spiraling out of control suddenly abated. They didn't slowly decrease in strength - they simply "just stopped." That enabled helicopters and sluice planes to go to work. What was an enormous blessing.
There have not been any lives lost, and we pray that there isn't in the days to come. That is a huge blessing.

Despite so many horses being stabled in Spaghetti Flats, only one old horse perished. All others were taken to safety.

Had this wildfire started 14 days from now the gates to the Ruidoso Downs Racetrack would have been opened to horsemen and women across the Southwest. With thousands of horses and additional people on the track a wildfire of this magnitude would have been mass chaos. And would have seriously jeopardized lives. A blessing so large I cannot find the words to describe it.

The entire situation has been simply miraculous, and I give God all the glory.

Yet, people have lost their homes and barns. And there is such a sadness about their losses because I know the heartache they must feel. I know from experience.

When you are the person who is now homeless it's such a lonely feeling. Lost and confusing. It's not the "why me" which weighs upon the heart. It's "I need a home to go home to." It's watching people return home to normalcy, when normalcy is light years away for yourself. It's that simplistic.

Praying for all concerned, and praising God that so many people have been given so many blessings, but praying especially for those who lost all.




Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler. ~ Albert Einstein

White Fire

I rather suspect that this wasn't the right day to have a lousy migraine, around 1pm my oldest daughter phoned and said that a wildfire had started on Gavilan Canyon. The fire was, at that time, still on the ridge so I went over to Ruidoso Downs to get my four grand-children.

With dense smoke and flames leaping over the ridge towards Spaghetti Flats and Ruidoso Downs Racetrack a decision was made to go and pick up a horse trailer just in case the very out of control fire went over highway 70.



I have gone through a lot of mountain wildfires, but rarely have I seen any move this fast. With 45 to 65 mile winds this was a total nightmare.


As I drove back past the ridge my heart simply fell into my stomach as I watched the flames head towards Greenwoods Equestrian Stables, TR. Greens, and so many other horse barns. I knew that there was not going to be any method to save the homes and professional horse barns - and knowing how bitter it is to lose everything and start again my heart simply ached.

With a son-in-law on the front line fighting the fire, and a daughter with an ambulance at Fox Cave where the fire quickly jumped highway 70 I had to depend upon other to help.


My daughter's friend was kind enough to take the children. Not having a home to take my grand-children to in emergencies pains me more than I can describe. To have to say, "I am homeless myself and I have nowhere to go, let alone take four children, two horses, three dogs and two cats with me" is such a helpless feeling. It was the most excruciating frustration I have ever experienced.

My youngest daughter phoned Dan, and he came and tried to load "Loves To Waltz" and "Bugs Flight" but only Bugs Flight would load so we left them both with a hope and prayer that the wildfire wouldn't jump highway 70 and head towards my daughters home.


Praying with diligence for all parties involved, those who have lost their homes and facilities, those who are fighting the fire and for the individuals in the plane crash at Ruidoso airport earlier today.

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~ Tenneva Jordan

Migraine Madness

The constant violent migraines have forced me into bed pretty distraught that I can't get any help with the single-wide and barn roof. Prayerfully I can get my health problems under control and try to face this nightmare without any more hiccups.

Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity ~ Thor Heyerdahl

April Fool

Today Robert Huckins returned ALL of the stolen money, I purchased a delightful modular that doesn't need renovation, I hired an electrician and plumber to get the utilities turned on. I will no longer have to winter out in the bitter cold and my mother is coming to visit with her family.
Well, it IS April Fools Day...

The temperature soared to upper 70's, lower 80's more like mid-summer than spring. It was beyond gorgeous.

Still I'm struggling trying to find a way to renovate the old single-wide and get the roof on the barn. Last night I barely slept for tossing and turning stressing out, deliberating what I have done, and methods I have perhaps missed.

I can't shake the violent migraine that started Wednesday. Today I managed to walk around in a bit of a fog, an exhausted haze. Time is going so fast and winter seems to have never existed though in these mountains we normally have bitter cold - and snow - during Easter.

The mountain air is exhilarating during the spring and summer. Mornings greet you with a soft kindness, an enthusiasm. I doubt that I have ever seen a prettier sight on earth as the daybreak over the Sacramento Mountains.

When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak. ~ Audre Lorde

Life Is Like A Broken Record

Almost the end of March, and true to form it is leaving like a lamb. My main fear is that when the spring rains arrive this shed will yet again be under water, including raw sewage, and I have no way of protecting my possessions stored in this shed. I never expected to still be here this spring.. I truly didn't. Now I wonder if I will ever get into a home.

The weather was absolutely gorgeous today. Rio and I went to the Lazy J, where the sheriff's Posse members were working on an RV intended for the members to use. Jan was doctoring an elderly Arabian stallion who was seriously injured this past week and I was starting to feel so depressed that my focus must still remain on that single wide and barn, not join in the summer activities or return to my career.

I feel like the proverbial broken record.

On the way to the Lazy J Ranch I drove past the single wide that is being renovated on the land sold by USRay and the progress is simply amazing. Yet I am still struggling trying to find a way to get my single wide home and barn finished - or even started.

My eyes are so sore with crying, something I have not been able to stop for weeks. Not crying as in sobbing, just tears running down my face for no other reason than the sheer hopelessness, helplessness and desperation I feel. In the middle of the store, while working, while watching a movie tears run down my face uncontrollably.

Everything is now trying to work against the clock, trying to get into a comfortable home before winters arrives, trying to get stability, trying to do what I have been trying to do for 3+ years. There is an urgency, and an undercurrent of sheer panic. And it's flowing into my eyes and rolling down my face.

Ironically yet again I bumped into Robert Huckins today, while he was putting gas into his vehicle. I'm sure that watching me struggle is inflating his ego no end.

Tomorrow morning I have to go and pick my grand-son up and we can garden all day to keep him preoccupied.

If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.~ Albert Einstein

Facing Evil, Finding Hope

Another simply gorgeous day in the upper 60's lower 70's. Yesterday I planted dozens of flower bulbs for my boss hoping that the mule deer will be kind enough to leave them alone after they start to grow and bloom.

While at Wal-Mart buying the gardening supplies my daughter and I yet again bumped into Robert Huckins while he was in the electronic department. There is always an effort to rub salt into the wounds that I have never quite understood. As though stealing a persons home, leaving them homeless, is not quite enough. Making sure that the victims know that you got away with it and life is good, and your life is not in turmoil, must be exhibited each time they see you.
My oldest daughter shook her head in disgust as Huckins laughed and joked looking at the big screen tv's and said, "Well, he can't buy one of those tv's because he has all that money hidden away - and he can't spend it."

In life we often time we come face to face with a level of evil, a total lack of conscience, that we could never understand in a million years.

Somehow I must find some hope in this mess. The weather is just too perfect to not take advantage of it. My oldest daughter promised to help me in the little ways we can work together as soon a her schedule was set, and she has days off.
We can put the fencing back up. We may even be able to dig the holes and bring in the concrete to put the posts in. But the single wide and barn roof needs someone with building knowledge, and the electricity needs a certified & licensed electrician.
Neither of which I can afford unless Huckins tells us where he hide the money.

This week I have to clear my mind long enough to write the brochures and marketing articles for the trail ride associations and their 2011 events.

When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it. ~ W. Clement Stone

Me, Myself And I

For the past few days I have been so ill and depressed that blogging wasn't possible. The worry about finding help to get this single wide and barn finished has sent me into a panic struck quandary. The weather has been delightful, albeit some high winds made nights inside a garden shed fairly noisy.
Last night I couldn't sleep, by 4am I was so distraught Rio and I went for a walk trying to clear my mind and seek "calmness."
Trying to find electric poles to get the electricity turned on has been a major hurdle and I feel like a hamster on a wheel, running as fast as I possibly can yet going nowhere.

I have long since started to question if I am supposed to have a home. Please God, don't let me die in this shed.

Yet I still go on somehow trying to find a way to get the roof on this barn, utilize the building supplies already purchased to renovate the single wide and find the funds to buy more supplies. But there is JUST Me, Myself and I - and I have no idea how to do it alone.

Still the weather is just gorgeous and this week I'll start working on the brochures and articles for the trail riding groups in the region, advertise a few stallions and keep plodding on praying for a miracle in my life.

I'm marketing one stallion - for sale - that I wanted to buy 3+ years ago and it's hitting me hard that here we are in breeding season and I can't even return to my work, my career, because I can't get the barn finished.
This particular stallion I would have walked over broken glass to acquire before I met Robert & Sylvi Huckins. My, how times have changed.

Being without a hauling truck prompted my boss to ask why I didn't "lease" a one ton truck for he was confident that I could lease one for less than $250 a month. I started laughing.. I rather doubt that anyone could lease a truck for $250 a month and even if such was possible, that amount is more money than I make in a week. I would have to work over a week to pay the rental, and a week to pay the insurance.
Sounds good to me!

My grand-children returned from California where they spent an entire week being deluged by rain and storms. It was warmer in sunny Ruidoso-By-The-Sea than Southern California.
My youngest daughter managed to retrieve the stranded truck in Texas, so I can now relax from fearing they had lost that vehicle.
Life would be good.. if I could only acquire a home and see my mother before she dies.

One of the topics that came to my attention in the past 3 days an unbelievable revival in the Muslim communities around the world. These are simply the tip of the iceberg - to which I say, "Praise the Lord."

Although Muslim have been wrongly taught about Jesus the Messiah by their religious leaders, many of them are now coming to faith in the real Jesus of the Bible. Charisma Magazine wrote an interesting report that states, “…a tsunami of faith is quietly overtaking the Muslim world. Islamic adherents are laying aside their allegiance to Muhammad to follow Jesus Christ, despite the social ostracism, persecution and possible martyrdom that converts to Christianity face.” Middle East expert Joel Rosenberg believes more Muslims have come to faith in Christ in the last 30 years than at any time in history. “The vast majority of those conversions have happened since 9/11,” he notes. He relates some of their stories in his book, Inside the Revolution.

One missionary to Iran, who asked to remain anonymous, says a “tremendous” number of Muslims there are seeing that “Islam as a religion has failed them personally, economically, spiritually and socially.”

When Christians witness to Muslims they need to overcome some common misconceptions their Islamic leaders have taught them about Jesus, such as:

• Jesus was not the Son of God but merely a messenger (prophet).
• Jesus was not crucified, nor did He ever resurrect from the dead.
• Anyone who believes in Jesus as the Son of God will be accursed.

But despite these erroneous ideas about Jesus, many Muslims are seeking the truth and discovering the real Jesus is indeed the Son of God and the Savior of all mankind.

May the LORD burden us to pray for and witness to the Muslim people. They need our Christian love and compassion just as much as any other race of people in the world.

Son of Hamas leader forsakes and exposes Islam, and starts following Jesus

Christians and Muslims should take note of part 5 of this series where Mosab Hassan Yousef, son of one of the Hamas founders, talks about the reason he forsook Islam and turned to Jesus Christ. Of special interest is the fact that Hamas torture and kill their own members inside the Israeli prisons and no one is safe. One verse that changed this young man's life was where Jesus said, "Love Your Enemies."

http://www.christian-faith.com/forjesus/son-of-hamas-leader-forsakes-and-exposes-islam-and-starts-following-jesus

Visions of Jesus Stir Muslim Hearts

Chris Mitchell

CBN News Middle East Bureau Chief

In a time where the world's attention is riveted on events in the Middle East, CBN viewers have come to appreciate Chris Mitchell's timely reports from this explosive region of the world. Mitchell brings a Biblical and prophetic perspective to these daily news events that shape our world.

JERUSALEM - The Muslim call to prayer resounds through a large part of the Earth, where more than one billion people call themselves Muslims.

Throughout the Islamic world, many Muslims from Gaza to London are also responding to the call to global jihad, where the goal is to take over the world for Islam. It's a clash of civilizations with the Christian faith in the middle.

Throughout the nearly 1,400 year history of Islam, Muslims have resisted the Christian Gospel. Many Christians tried to reach them with the good news, but with little success.

But according to many reports from the Middle East and around the world, that history is changing.

"I see many, many Arabic-speaking people turning to Christ, accepting Him as Lord and Savior,” said Nizar Shaheen, host of Light for the Nations, a Christian program seen throughout the Muslim world. "It's happening all over the Arab world. It's happening in North Africa. It's happening in the Middle East. It's happening in the Gulf countries. It's happening in Europe and Canada and the United States-in the Arabic-speaking world. Everywhere, people are accepting Jesus."

"What's happening nowadays in the Muslim world has never happened before," said Father Zakaria Boutros, an Egyptian Coptic priest who is one of the foremost evangelists to the Muslim world. He says a cross-section of Muslims are accepting Jesus Christ. "Young and old, educated and not educated, males and females, even those who are fanatic."

One fanatic Muslim who came to faith in Jesus Christ is Samer Achmad Muhammed. He studied for years to become a Wahhabi sheik, one of the most virulent forms of Islam. He hated Christians and the church, but his heart changed when he heard the Gospel.

"I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ, Jesus forgave me for my sins,” he said. “He gave me eternal life and peace. And the second thing, I really suffered in my daily life, but I had peace, I had joy because Jesus entered my heart."

Muhammed is just one of many who are coming to Jesus. Heidi Baker of Iris Ministries sees thousands of African Muslims receiving Jesus and getting baptized.

"It's probably the only place in the world where they are coming so quickly,” she said. “Many people are having dreams. They see Jesus appear to them. Probably half our pastors were leaders, imams in Moslem mosques. They were leaders in these mosques, now they're pastors."

Another significant evangelistic movement among Muslims links China and Jerusalem. Chinese house churches plan to send at least 100,000 evangelists from China through many predominantly Muslim nations all the back here to Jerusalem.

This quiet but powerful movement of itinerant evangelists is bringing the story of Jesus Christ into the heart of the Muslim world. Technologies like satellite television and the Internet also penetrate the world of Islam.

But beyond technology, many say a supernatural dimension is at work throughout the Islamic world.

"There is an end-time phenomenon that is happening through dreams and visions," said Christine Darg, author of The Jesus Visions: Signs and Wonders in the Muslim World. “He is going into the Muslim world and revealing, particularly, the last 24 hours of His life - how He died on the cross, which Islam does not teach - how He was raised from the dead, which Islam also does not teach – and how He is the Son of God, risen in power."

"We receive lots of letters about people who have had dreams about the Lord, visions, even miracles,” Shaheen said. “When they watch the program, they say yes, we had a dream or a vision, and they accept Jesus as Lord."

But Muslims who accept Jesus face persecution, discrimination or even death. Despite the dangers, many continue to live out their faith and lead others to Jesus Christ.

"Jesus loves all people, Jesus changes all people and Jesus is the One who places love and peace,” Shaheen said. “I was not like this but Jesus changed my life and I am not scared to talk about Jesus because praise is unto Him."

Some believe the Church's response to jihad must be a fearless proclamation of the Gospel to Muslims. Through prayer and evangelism, many see an unparalleled opportunity for the Gospel.

"I anticipate that very soon – perhaps within two or three years-we are going to see the greatest harvest in history," Shaheen said.

Tens of Thousands of Muslims Coming to Christ, Says Iranian Ministry Leader

The Middle East, which has become almost synonymous with violence and Islam, is experiencing an unprecedented level of Muslims becoming followers of Jesus Christ, said Sam Yeghnazar, founder of Iran-focused Elam Ministries. There were only about 500 Iranian Christians from a Muslim background at the time of Lausanne I in 1974, he said. But over the past 30 years, more Muslims have come to Christ than in the past 1,300 years.

“Iran today is a closed land with countless open hearts,” said Yeghnazar. “It is the most open nation to the Gospel in the entire world. Tens of thousands of Iranians are turning to Christ.”

“Betrayed by the government, disillusioned with the religion, depressed by the prospects of the future, Iranians when they come to know the Lord Jesus Christ are completely transformed,” he said. “They proclaim Christ in the marketplace. Entire families, men and women, are coming to Christ.”

Two weeks ago, two of Yeghnazar’s people were imprisoned and within a week they brought six people to Christ, he shared.

http://www.christianpost.com/news/tens-of-thousands-of-muslims-coming-to-christ-says-iranian-ministry-leader-47265/

More Than Dreams: Muslims Coming to Christ Through Dreams and Visions

March 2011

Throughout the Muslim world men and women without knowledge of the gospel or contact among Christians have experienced dreams and visions of Jesus Christ. “In the last days,” says God, “I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions.” (Joel 2:28 )

For decades, a well-documented phenomenon has been occurring in the Muslim world—men and women who, without knowledge of the gospel, or contact among Christians in their community, have experienced dreams and visions of Jesus Christ. The reports of these supernatural occurrences often come from “closed countries” where there is no preaching of the good news and where converting to Christianity can invoke the death sentence. But these are more than just dreams. Setting them apart is the intense reality of the experience and the surrender of one’s heart and mind to Christ in the wake of the dream. A common denominator appears to be that the dreams come to those who are seeking—as best they can—to know and please God.

Beginning in 2002, a group of people interested in this phenomenon took initial steps in bringing it to the attention of a worldwide audience through a series of video programs. Numerous on-site interviews were conducted with former Muslims who had experienced a dream or vision of Jesus resulting in their conversion to Christianity. From the outset, the producers endeavored to represent a global cross-section of Islam in the series, and for that reason, stories were sought in Arabic-speaking countries, Muslim areas throughout Africa and Asia and the secular Muslim nation of Turkey.

The project’s goal was to create versions of these stories in multiple languages, and, in league with ministry partners around the world, disseminate the product globally both to evangelize unbelievers and encourage those who have already experienced a dream or vision of Jesus that they are not alone. The following five stories were put together into the video series called More Than Dreams:

More Than Dreams Video Programs
The distribution strategy of More Than Dreams involves a multi-pronged approach in which each of the five stories will be dubbed into different languages in order to reach the largest target audience possible. It is estimated that Islam numbers over one billion followers worldwide. Through satellite broadcasts and massive “home video” distribution on VCD, DVD and VHS, it is hoped that More Than Dreams will reach millions of Muslims. The producers are allowing distribution partners to use the programs and even make copies for evangelistic purposes without royalty payments. The website morethandreams.tv provides more information on the series as well as on partnership opportunities.

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pure Gibberish

Am I the only one who has one of those days when you can't formulate a sentence and everything you utter sounds like gibberish? My verbal skills are so bad I could probably get a PhD in "Gibberish" if we could only get the University of New Mexico to accept it as an accredited course.

Under normal circumstances I have a pronounced Northern British accent. That's enough baggage in the south west because few understand British English, so you adapt by adding some southern flavor. "Jolly good show ya'll."

I never pronounce the "h" in horse, hospital, hero or any other word starting with "h." You may as well throw the "h" away because to myself it's "orse" "ospital" and "ero."

Invariably the listener asks me to repeat something at least twice, perhaps under the wrong impression that third time is a charm. Then they turn to the nearest person and say, "What did she say?" As though an interpreter MUST be accompanying me.


When I am very tired, or very nervous, or both, I break out in a northern colloquialism that is pure "gibberish" to most Americans. Today I was BOTH so language became a real barrier. So when I turned to my boss and said, "What' tha think'tha doin', tha freetn'd mi ter deeath" he had a look on his face that was priceless.

The worry over the truck ended in my departure from the situation. I just feel so helpless when the only thing I can do is work myself up into a frenzy and I know I have to concentrate on this blasted single wide and barn - as hopeless as it looks.

This has been one of those days when you feel so emotionally spent you almost feel lonely. My mothers best friend died this morning. Even though I wasn't particularly close to him nor his wife and family, the fact that yet another lifetime friend of my mother has died hit me pretty hard. Probably because they are all the same age.

I'm tired. Tired of fretting and worrying, and tired of spinning wheels. But I guess as a Yorkshire Lass I'll never tire of the northern colloquialism that is my roots. Even though to others it's pure gibberish.

An Honest Yorkshireman

Henry Carey (Died 1748)

I is i' truth a coontry youth,
Nean used to Lunnon fashions;
Yet vartue guides, an' still presides
Ower all my steps an' passions.
Nea coortly leer, bud all sincere,
Nea bribe shall iver blinnd me ;
If thoo can like a Yorkshire tike,
A rogue thoo'll niver finnd me.

Thof envy's tongue, so slimly hung,
Would lee aboot oor coonty,
Nea men o' t' earth boast greater worth,
Or mair extend their boonty.
Oor northern breeze wi' us agrees,
An' does for wark weel fit us ;
I' public cares, an' love affairs,
Wi' honour We acquit us.

Sea great a maand is ne'er confaand
'Tiv onny shire or nation,
They gie un meast praise whea weel displays
A larned eddication;
Whaal rancour rolls i' laatle souls,
By shallow views dissarnin',
They're nobbut wise at awlus prize
Good manners, sense, an' larnin'.