Monday, July 18, 2011

1,200 Days And Nights


Today is Nelson Mandela day. I doubt that I could write anything about Nelson Mandela that hasn't been written a million times before, by far better writers than myself. I deeply admire this man, and all his accomplishments despite the adversity he faced. I honor him this day.I wish I was the right type of a personality to get mad, have a temper tantrum, scream and shout... be angry. But I'm not. I take all feelings, stresses, fears and hide them away. Once in a while I may get short with someone who is hounding me or being difficult, but it takes an awful lot to get a reaction out of me. Someone has to be insufferable for me to react. When under stress I internalize it.
For the past 1,200 days and nights I have faced a veritable nightmare each time I opened my eyes, and it's dogged me through each day. For the first two years it was court trials and investigations, frantically trying to locate the stolen building fund. The rest of the time it's been trying to find the stolen building fund or circumvent that need by finding another route. Trying to do the impossible.
As yet I have not heard a word about the electrical problems, so I don't know if it's going to be possible to get electricity to the land with the finances I have. The fear of not being able to get a home and get our lives back together is making me into a nervous wreck and I can't find relief.

On Saturday afternoon the minimum monthly payment allowed by the court arrived. $450 and some change. It is an absolute travesty of justice, an insult to injury for it doesn't change our situation in the least. My health is so bad that in an attempt to stop the migraines and chest pains yesterday I made the decision that for 24 hours I would refuse to think about, or worry about our home and barn. I was going to take Sunday off work, relax, catch up on sleep, watch a movie - and never even allow myself to think of a home and barn, my mother, my career, the economy or anything else that would bring on those awful chest pains and migraines. I prayed that it would rain to give me an excuse to take time to stop fretting and worrying, but the rain didn't come despite the clouds that came over the Sierra Blanca.

Still, it actually went quite well. Each time my mind wondered back to the land, the house or anything else I went for a walk and focused on something else. Until daylight went and I tried to watch a movie and fall asleep..

I have now been awake for 24 hours. No matter how much I tried too fall asleep the night terrors, chest pains and migraine returned with a vengeance,and the damp weather made it terribly cold.

1,200 days is an unGodly length of time to allow any woman to be homeless, frantically trying to locate a stolen building fund in a recession. Yet I understand that I have not gone through a fraction of the sheer unadulterated torment that Dorothy McKeever was put through by Robert Huckins and the judicial system. When you add up the pain and suffering that so many women were subjected to it is simply incomprehensible ... and inexcusable, and the mere thought that a builder can steal the only home women own, yet be allowed to live in comfort in his own home should make us cringe with shame.Again I plead to the family members of Robert Huckins to intervene. If that be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins. If you would be caring enough, and humane enough to do so, please make your brother, son, cousin return the entire building fund he stole from us so that I can buy a home. I simply can't go on homeless. It is already July 2011 and my nerves are in shambles after over 3 years of hell that should never have been allowed. I am devastated at the loss of my mother, my career, our home. I am totally lost at who else to turn to because everything else has failed. You are my last hope. All I want is what we have paid honest money for, a home. So that this nightmare can be ended and we can get our family back together again - I beg for your mercy for there is no way I can survive any more of this.
They hang the man and flog the woman, Who steals the goose from off the common, Yet let the greater villain loose, who steals the common from the goose. ~ 17th century English protest rhyme

Saturday, July 16, 2011

No One Gets Out Of This World Alive

But all would like a home to reside in while here on earth..

Last night was one of those nights where no peace is to be found. I fell asleep before 11 am but fell right into a nightmare in which my mother died. I was still homeless and couldn't find my passport or any necessary documents in the packed boxes, then all loved ones started dying. Four legged and two legged. By midnight I woke up in a cold sweat and chest pains that had me doubled up in pain. Excruciating pain that would leave for hours.
I am praying that this is a fear not a self fulfilling prophesy.

Sleep wouldn't come and each time I closed my eyes I started walking over the property, trying to figure out how to pick up these pieces and put it back together again. Finally, getting sicker and more stressed, I stayed awake wondering how to stop the chest pains & throbbing migraine with over the counter pain medication.

I'm not too sure if I fell asleep or passed out around 4.30 am. Whichever it was I slept without interruption and woke up at 7.30 am feeling like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards, but with milder less threatening chest pains and, thank God, no migraine.


By 8. 30 am my boss was in a mood to "get er' done" and it's hard to explain to an 87 year old that you are deathly ill, have had hardly any sleep and just may be heading into a nervous breakdown. I always have to laugh because the fact that I am homeless sat in a dirty filthy shed with no heat or air isn't even noticed.
Maybe I died and someone forgot to tell me.

My daughters used to criticize me for "chewing my lips" when nervous. Today I'm sure that they would prefer me to chew my lips than have the total meltdowns I experience in the nightmares I have while asleep.

I spent the afternoon running errands for my boss even though I felt like death warmed up. I met with my oldest daughter and four grand-children and we did a bit more early bird school shopping, but she seemed as worn down as I feel.

By the late afternoon I tried to curl up into a ball and try to decrease the chest pains and numb migraine that is really dragging me down. Even though I was depleted, exhausted beyond exhaustion, I still couldn't sleep.Mid-July 2011 and I am still no further towards getting this single wide renovated and the barn finished, or acquire the home and barn my mother bought and paid for in December 2007, and my nerves are frayed to a point where I wonder if I will ever recover, ever have a home, ever be able to see my mother again. For this level of mental, emotional and physical abuse to be permitted or accepted is a total disgrace.

I don't know very much about the homeless. I know what it's like to have a convicted felon steal our home. I know what it's like to be dragged through the
judicial system only to watch the thieves hide the money. I know what it's like sleeping in minus 25 degree weather with no heat. I know what it's like to desperately want to hear my mother complain about muddy riding boots, horse hair on the truck upholstery and equestrian artwork on the walls of our home. I know what it's like to be shattered into a million pieces and not be able to find a way to recover.

But the more I read about he homeless certain "keywords" keep popping up. Invisible: More than once I have used the word invisible because it is what you are, what you become. Your title is now "homeless person" and there is no other description society desires to hear.Why you are homeless, what your career is, who your or what needs
may be is not even relevant. Perhaps I am an "upper middle class" homeless person, because it cost us exceeding $140,000 for me to become homeless. My homelessness, my despair could be easily resolved. All it would take is for the person who stole our building fund to return it in one lump sum. We can't afford to rent, and I can't chance my mother finding out that her home was stolen. It's a catch 22 situation. All because one man refuses to return the money he stole, and was convicted of stealing, so that we can buy a home and get our lives back again.

Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, Michael Huckins, Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) I don't know whom in your family can motivate Robert Huckins to return our stolen building fund, but I pray that someone can make him return it. I'm exhausted, and so ill. I miss my mum, I want my career back. I am in despair. I want to sleep exactly like you all do.. in a clean house with furniture. I can't emotionally or physically handle anymore of this abuse and I am begging you to please get the money we had for our home back. I am begging as I have never begged before because I know that you may be my last hope."Leges Sine Moribus Vanae" "lacking moral sense, laws are in vain"

Friday, July 15, 2011

Weathering The Financial Storm

This morning it was simply gorgeous weather when I set off for Ruidoso, Nogal then Capitan running errands. But by the time I reached Capitan the rain was pouring down. Back at Alto the thunder rolled and the sky was dark, but we did not get the same type of rain Capitan was getting.

Dozens of "spikes" and doe's had come in to beg for food. This drought is seriously depleting their resources and they are not looking as healthy as usual.

I have been over a day without a migraine, and I felt so good today I was almost back to my old self.. but for this awful deep seated fretting and worry about a home. Very rarely do I feel well enough to take care about what I look like. This is such a depressing, desperate situation and when you are dirty, ill and in despair you tend to forget about the dirty aspect. But today I felt well enough to look like my old self.. neat, tidy and wearing a smile.
Tonight I pray the stress of trying to figure out the house and barn doesn't throw me for a loop again. I never thought that I would ever see the day come where a home, especially when you have paid for one, was luxury and not a priority in our society. It is so terribly stressful.


The economy is certainly taking the spotlight as the disagreements betwixt Republicans and Democrat's continue to rage in Washington DC about raising the debt. I don't understand national or international finances and can't pretend to, but I do understand it when I see working class people unable to meet their financial obligations and I see prices soaring sky high.

We are in dangerous, perilous times.
Return To Gold Standard As The World Order Unravels

On one side of the Atlantic, the eurozone debt crisis has spread to the countries that may be too big to save - Spain and Italy - though RBS thinks a €3.5 trillion rescue fund would ensure survival of Europe's currency union.

On the other side, the recovery has sputtered out and the printing presses are being oiled again. Brinkmanship between the Congress and the White House over the US debt ceiling has compelled Moody's to warn of a "very small but rising risk" that the world's paramount power may default within two weeks. "The unthinkable is now thinkable," said Ross Norman, director of thebulliondesk.com.

Fed chair Ben Bernanke confessed to Congress that growth has failed to gain traction. "Deflationary risks might re-emerge, implying a need for additional policy support," he said.

The bar to QE3 - yet more bond purchases - is even lower than markets had thought. The new intake of hard-money men on the voting committee has not shifted Fed thinking, despite global anger at dollar debasement under QE2.

Fuelling the blaze, the emerging powers of Asia are almost all running uber-loose monetary policies. Most have negative real interest rates that push citizens out of bank accounts and into gold, or property. China is an arch-inflater. Prices are rising at 6.4pc, yet the one-year deposit rate is just 3.5pc. India's central bank is far behind the curve.

"It is very scary: the flight to gold is accelerating at a faster and faster speed," said Peter Hambro, chairman of Britain's biggest pure gold listing Petropavlovsk.

"One of the big US banks texted me today to say that if QE3 actually happens, we could see gold at $5,000 and silver at $1,000. I feel terribly sorry for anybody on fixed incomes tied to a fiat currency because they are not going to be able to buy things with that paper money."

China, Russia, Brazil, India, the Mid-East petro-powers have diversified their $7 trillion reserves into euros over the last decade to limit dollar exposure. As Europe's monetary union itself faces an existential crisis, there is no other safe-haven currency able to absorb the flows. The Swiss franc, Canada's loonie, the Aussie, and Korea's won are too small.

"There is no depth of market in these other currencies, so gold is the obvious play," said Neil Mellor from BNY Mellon. Western central banks (though not the US, Germany, or Italy) sold much of their gold at the depths of the bear market a decade ago. The Bank of England wins the booby prize for selling into the bottom at €254 an ounce on Gordon Brown's orders in 1999. But Russia, China, India, the Gulf states, the Philippines, and Kazakhstan have been buying.

China is coy, revealing purchases with a long delay. It has admitted to doubling its gold reserves to 1,054 tonnes or $54bn. This is just a tiny sliver of its $3.2 trillion reserves. China's Chamber of Commerce said this should be raised eightfold to 8,000 tonnes.

Xia Bin, an adviser to China's central bank, said in June that the country's reserve strategy needs an "urgent" overhaul. Instead of buying paper IOU's from a prostrate West, China should invest in strategic assets and accumulate gold by "buying the dips".

Step by step, the world is edging towards a revived Gold Standard as it becomes clearer that Japan and the West have reached debt saturation. World Bank chief Robert Zoellick said it was time to "consider employing gold as an international reference point." The Swiss parliament is to hold hearings on a parallel "Gold Franc". Utah has recognised gold as legal tender for tax payments.

A new Gold Standard would probably be based on a variant of the 'Bancor' proposed by Keynes in the late 1940s. This was a basket of 30 commodities intended to be less deflationary than pure gold, which had compounded in the Great Depression. The idea was revived by China's central bank chief Zhou Xiaochuan two years ago as a way of curbing the "credit-based" excess.

Mr Bernanke himself was grilled by Congress this week on the role of gold. Why do people buy gold? "As protection against of what we call tail risks: really, really bad outcomes," he replied.

Indeed.
Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, Michael Huckins, Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) I don't know whom in your family can motivate Robert Huckins to return our stolen building fund, but I pray that someone can make him return it. I'm exhausted, and so ill. I miss my mum, I want my career back. I am in despair. We can't get a home unless your son, brother, cousin returns the building fund he stole. I tried every means to stop him from stealing the money, and every means to stop him from hiding the money. Every means to get an indictment. But Robert Huckins is far smarter than the judicial system, and he knew that our system cannot force him to return the money. He knew that before he plead guilty to multiple felony fraud charges and was given 27 years in jail.. suspended, that all he had to do was pay the minimal payments for a very short period of time.. leaving us homeless, destitute, desperate. He knew that the system doesn't care about the victims.
And he knew that we would probably not survive homelessness for very long anyway. I don't know who else to turn to because I have exhausted all routes so I am begging for your help heart and soul and with such sincerity. Someone in this family must have the means to motivate Robert Huckins to reveal where he has hidden our building fund, and return it to us. The ONLY thing we have ever wanted is the home we bought and paid for, the opportunity to get our family and career back together. Yet each day of homelessness we are being robbed, abused, victimized over and over again. Please, I beg. Please help us find and retrieve the stolen money so we can have a home and our lives back.
We have deluded ourselves into believing the myth that capitalism grew and prospered out of the Protestant ethic of hard work and sacrifices. Capitalism was built on the exploitation of black slaves and continues to thrive on the exploitation of the poor, both black and white, both here and abroad. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dampened Hopes

I had to leave for 24 hours to look after my grand-children but the weather turned so damp I quickly became deathly ill and physically unable to move faster than a sloth on Librium. Walking back into this shed at 7 am this morning was like walking into a dark dismal dungeon that stunk of mold and sewage. The racoons and skunk had wrecked the place, and the bed was covered in mud. Still, the moisture is what we needed to stop the high fire danger so the blessing is not to be missed.

This past 2 days has been a time preoccupied with volunteer work. Marketing the upcoming trail rides and ministry events., and trying to stop this awful panic that is gripping me in regard to the house and barn that I so desperately need to be in before winter comes.

I spoke to a representative of the ACTHA yesterday and had to laugh when she asked if I would be available to become involved with the organization. How on earth can you explain to anyone that your career, your life, your family, is on hold because you can't get a home and barn, that you paid for, from which to work from ... how do you explain this?

Good news came from my youngest daughter, for the doctors have just released her from isolation for the MRSA. This is going to be the first time in months she has been allowed to leave the house. And the rain started again this afternoon. not as much as we need but enough to give this dry parched land the moisture it needs.

Meanwhile, I am back to trying to figure out the house and barn. There is a level of abuse - of sheer unadulterated torment - that actually makes you feel like a none existent human being. Not a human being with feelings, needs, emotions, pains, desires, goals... as though your life is so insignificant that it can be shredded without a moments thought.

I passed that point a long, long time ago and today I am going through the motion, but I feel like I am being put through a meat grinder every single day.

The economy is simply terrifying for a woman alone who has been forced into homelessness. I don't have anything to grab onto for I am so desperately trying to recover our home, career, family.

THE CATHOLIC KNIGHT: Here's the short story. If the Republicans allow the debt ceiling to be raised, the TEA Parties will crucify them and they know it. Furthermore, if they raise the debt ceiling this year, they just postpone Judgement Day until next year, and if they raise it again next year, they postpone it till the year after that. Each time they raise the debt ceiling they make Judgement Day that much worse, inflating the bubble just that much more for a much bigger pop later on. They know that too. Our government has finally painted itself into a corner.

So what we can look forward to politically over the next several months is some fancy footwork on the part of the Republicans and the Democrats. There will be an attempt to sell the idea of raising the debt ceiling with the promise of spending cuts later that will supposedly lower the debt later. Of course the American people have all heard this before. It's an old lie and I don't think it will sell this time.

It looks like America's economic Judgement Day will hit us sometime in middle to late 2011. Of course, there is always the possibility the debt ceiling will be raised, the bubble will be inflated more, and Judgement Day will be postponed till 2012, but by that time if they try to raise the debt ceiling in an election year, there will be political hell to pay in November of 2012. It would seem some Republicans, particularly the TEA Party favorites, are gambling that it's better to allow the government to default this year, let the bubble burst sooner rather than later, and let the chips fall were they may now, so they have time to regroup and figure out their reelection strategy before 2012.

Compounding this whole situation will be the Congressional hearings on the Federal Reserve to be chaired by Congressman Ron Paul. Paul has a reputation of calling out the Federal Reserve for what it is, and calling for it's abolition as well. That's going to attract a lot of attention to the fiscal policies of our government, and the tricks the government has been playing on the American people for nearly 100 years.

Whatever happens this is going to be the most interesting year in a lifetime to watch Capitol Hill fiscal politics, and of course, the consequences of whatever happens will have a direct, profound, and potentially painful consequence for each and every one of us in the months and years ahead.

America's economic Judgement Day is upon us - 100 years in the making. The "American Century" is over. Remember, God loves us. He does not want to destroy us. Rather, he wants to bring us to our knees, and he is doing whatever it takes to get us into that position.

Here's the "good news" in all of this - sort of. If America has the flu than Europe has pneumonia, as is demonstrated by this humorous take below. Everything in the below video is true, and it just demonstrates in three short minutes why the whole Western world is about to undergo the worst economic disaster since the fall of the Roman Empire...
http://youtu.be/NOzR3UAyXao



I can only repeat what I said on my mother's birthday: Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie, Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins, Malcolm Huckins. Your brother, cousin, son stole our building fund. There is so much about this that is so surreal to me.

Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins you were present the day I signed contract with your son. You walked out of the kitchen with Sylvi Huckins and your son introduced me to you. He told you that I was the British horse trainer he had told you about, the one he was going to build the home and barn for. Why didn't you say something? There may be a rational and reasonable explanation but I have spent over 3 years, homeless, not understanding it.

Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, I contacted you and simply asked for a reference, not knowing that Robert Huckins was your cousin. Robert Huckins had just stolen over $30,000 from the domestic violence shelter, HEAL, yet everyone was trying to hide it. There was a history of stealing large amounts of money. $65,000 PLUS from Nancy Canning. $80,000 PLUS from Dorothy McKeever. The list just goes on and on and on.

I don't understand how this family stood by and watched so many women being victimized. I honestly and truly try to understand.. but I don't.
How could anyone sit and watch this happen to women who didn't have other resources? The level of cruelty is incomprehensible.

Liam Griffin, I sat in your law office with two witnesses as you gave me your promise, your guarantee, that our money would be returned before harm came to us.

I had to investigate myself. I had to stop work and do all of the leg work myself because no-one was going to help me. It cost an absolute small fortune to get any type of justice. But the justice was not going to give myself and my mother a home. Yet the only thing I want is what we bought and paid for.

I am simply begging you to make Robert Huckins return our stolen building fund so we can try to recover our lives and live in a home like you all do. Like Robert and Sylve Huckins does. Nothing more. Nothing less. Physically and emotionally I simply cannot withstand any more of this abuse. I am too ill and the stress of being homeless is killing me. I pray you will have mercy upon us. You are my only hope. I am begging, literally on my knee's begging.


Pain is real when you get other people to believe in it. If no one believes in it but you, your pain is madness or hysteria.~ Naomi Wolf

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

At My Wits End

Taking my boss to the optometrists today turned into a trip and a half. I started to feel like I was going vomit and wanted to go and sit in the vehicle. He thought I was going to leave him there. So we started to play a game of "who is on third" while my stomach churned over like a roller coaster. In the end I stayed, grabbed a cloth and covered my mouth so that no-one could see that I was gagging. I abhor being this ill.

During the one sided conversation he told me that he is moving to Belize with his youngest son, but didn't say when that would materialize. I can do no other than agree. People in their 80's should be able to spend time with their family before they die. That should be one of the largest blessings the golden years bring. To have family who love you enough to want you with them.


It started raining while I waited for him, a nice slow rain that we need so much. The wildfires have left scorched and barren mountainsides that will easily start to move if hit with heavy monsoon type rains.

We still need more rain, though an hour of drizzle each day will not be unappreciated. There is dry, but then there is a total different type of dry. This nation has seen record breaking tornadoes, wildfires, flood and drought in a matter of weeks, and damage is beyond heartbreaking.

14 States Suffering Under Drought

COLQUITT, Ga. — The heat and the drought are so bad in this southwest corner of Georgia that hogs can barely eat. Corn, a lucrative crop with a notorious thirst, is burning up in fields. Cotton plants are too weak to punch through soil so dry it might as well be pavement.

Farmers with the money and equipment to irrigate are running wells dry in the unseasonably early and particularly brutal national drought that some say could rival the Dust Bowl days.

“It’s horrible so far,” said Mike Newberry, a Georgia farmer who is trying grow cotton, corn and peanuts on a thousand acres. “There is no description for what we’ve been through since we started planting corn in March.”

The pain has spread across 14 states, from Florida, where severe water restrictions are in place, to Arizona, where ranchers could be forced to sell off entire herds of cattle because they simply cannot feed them.

In Texas, where the drought is the worst, virtually no part of the state has been untouched. City dwellers and ranchers have been tormented by excessive heat and high winds. In the Southwest, wildfires are chewing through millions of acres.

Last month, the United States Department of Agriculture designated all 254 counties in Texas natural disaster areas, qualifying them for varying levels of federal relief. More than 30 percent of the state’s wheat fields might be lost, adding pressure to a crop in short supply globally.

Even if weather patterns shift and relief-giving rain comes, losses will surely head past $3 billion in Texas alone, state agricultural officials said.

Most troubling is that the drought, which could go down as one of the nation’s worst, has come on extra hot and extra early. It has its roots in 2010 and continued through the winter. The five months from this February to June, for example, were so dry that they shattered a Texas record set in 1917, said Don Conlee, the acting state climatologist.

Oklahoma has had only 28 percent of its normal summer rainfall, and the heat has blasted past 90 degrees for a month.

“We’ve had a two- or three-week start on what is likely to be a disastrous summer,” said Kevin Kloesel, director of the Oklahoma Climatological Survey.

The question, of course, becomes why. In a spring and summer in which weather news has been dominated by epic floods and tornadoes, it is hard to imagine that more than a quarter of the country is facing an equally daunting but very different kind of natural disaster.

From a meteorological standpoint, the answer is fairly simple. “A strong La Niña shut off the southern pipeline of moisture,” said David Miskus, who monitors drought for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

The weather pattern called La Niña is an abnormal cooling of Pacific waters. It usually follows El Niño, which is an abnormal warming of those same waters.

Although a new forecast from the National Weather Service’s Climate Prediction Center suggests that this dangerous weather pattern could revive in the fall, many in the parched regions find themselves in the unlikely position of hoping for a season of heavy tropical storms in the Southeast and drenching monsoons in the Southwest.

Climatologists say the great drought of 2011 is starting to look a lot like the one that hit the nation in the early to mid-1950s. That, too, dried a broad part of the southern tier of states into leather and remains a record breaker.

But this time, things are different in the drought belt. With states and towns short on cash and unemployment still high, the stress on the land and the people who rely on it for a living is being amplified by political and economic forces, state and local officials say. As a result, this drought is likely to have the cultural impact of the great 1930s drought, which hammered an already weakened nation.

“In the ’30s, you had the Depression and everything that happened with that, and drought on top,” said Donald A. Wilhite, director of the school of natural resources at the University of Nebraska in Lincoln and former director of the National Drought Mitigation Center. “The combination of those two things was devastating.”

Although today’s economy is not as bad, many Americans ground down by prolonged economic insecurity have little wiggle room to handle the effects of a prolonged drought. Government agencies are in the same boat.

“Because we overspent, the Legislature overspent, we’ve been cut back and then the drought comes along and we don’t have the resources and federal government doesn’t, and so we just tighten our belt and go on,” said Donald Butler, the director of the Arizona Department of Agriculture.

The drought is having some odd effects, economically and otherwise.

“One of the biggest impacts of the drought is going to be the shrinking of the cattle herd in the United States,” said Bruce A. Babcock, an agricultural economist at Iowa State University in Ames. And that will have a paradoxical but profound impact on the price of a steak.

Ranchers whose grass was killed by drought cannot afford to sustain cattle with hay or other feed, which is also climbing in price. Their response will most likely be to send animals to slaughter early. That glut of beef would lower prices temporarily.

But America’s cattle supply will ultimately be lower at a time when the global supply is already low, potentially resulting in much higher prices in the future.

There are other problems. Fishing tournaments have been canceled in Florida and Mississippi, just two of the states where low water levels have kept recreational users from lakes and rivers. In Texas, some cities are experiencing blackouts because airborne deposits of salt and chemicals are building up on power lines, triggering surges that shut down the system. In times of normal weather, rain usually washes away the environmental buildup. Instead, power company crews in cities like Houston are being dispatched to spray electrical lines.

In this corner of Georgia, where temperatures have been over 100 and rainfall has been off by more than half, fish and wildlife officials are worried over the health of the shinyrayed pocketbook and the oval pigtoe mussels, both freshwater species on the endangered species list.

The mussels live in Spring Creek, which is dangerously low and borders Terry Pickle’s 2,000-acre farm here. He pulls his irrigation from wells that tie into the water system of which Spring Creek is a part.

Whether nature or agriculture is to blame remains a debate in a state that for 20 years has been embroiled in a water war with Alabama and Florida. Meanwhile, Colquitt has allowed the state to drill a special well to pump water back into the creek to save the mussels from extinction.

Most farmers here are much more worried about the crops than the mussels. With cotton and corn prices high, they had high hopes for the season. But many have had to replant fields several times to get even one crop to survive. Others, like Mr. Pickle, have relied on irrigation so expensive that it threatens to eat into any profits.

The water is free, but the system used to get it from the ground runs on diesel fuel. His bill for May and June was an unheard of $88,442.

Thousands of small stories like that will all contribute to the ultimate financial impact of the drought, which will not be known until it is over. And no one knows when that will be.

The United States Department of Agriculture’s Farm Service Agency has already provided over $75 million in assistance to ranchers nationwide, with most of it going to Florida, New Mexico and Texas. An additional $62 million in crop insurance indemnities have already been provided to help other producers.

Economists say that adding up the effects of drought is far more complicated than, say, those of a hurricane or tornado, which destroy structures that have set values. With drought, a shattered wheat or corn crop is a loss to one farmer, and it has a specific price tag. But all those individual losses punch a hole in the food supply and drive prices up. That is good news for a farmer who manages to get a crop in. The final net costs down the line are thus dispersed, and mostly passed along.

That means grocery shoppers will feel the effects of the drought at the dinner table, where the cost of staples like meat and bread will most likely rise, said Michael J. Roberts, an associate professor of agricultural and resource economics at North Carolina State University in Raleigh, N.C. “The biggest losers are consumers,” he said.


I am at my wits end. Still not a word about the electricity. July is going by far too fast and still I sit wondering how to get a home and barn finished on our land. My cousin e-mailed this morning and said, "It makes you wonder what else life can throw at you !!.It's a real shame about your Mum not being able to come over, that must hurt. I know you can't tell her about the house, perhaps life might throw you a bit of luck and you will get your house sometime. I really hope so."

I don't need luck. I need honesty, honor-ability, justice. I need someone to show the moral fortitude to make a convicted felon return what he stole. I need my mothers building fund returned so that we can buy a home and go on with our lives. It's really that simple.

The price of this crime has been horrendous. To lose your mother, your career, your home in one fell swoop really isn't funny.. because the stress then takes your health.

Someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie
( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins. I, like those victims who came before me, have been dragged through a living hell and I simply beg for your mercy. I can't obtain a home until Robert Huckins returns the money he stole from us that was to buy a home. Had he given the money back when he promised the white collar crime investigators I wouldn't be making this plea today. Had he never stolen any money I wouldn't be making this plea today. But he pushes the abuse and torment to an extent where no alternatives are offered. I am homeless and I want to see my mum and return to my career, so I won't stop asking if I have to ask every single day until I die. Robert Huckins gave no-one an alternative, so I plead with sincerity for your mercy.

Compassion literally means to feel with, to suffer with. Everyone is capable of compassion, and yet everyone tends to avoid it because it's uncomfortable. And the avoidance produces psychic numbing -- resistance to experiencing our pain for the world and other beings.~ Joanna Macy

Monday, July 11, 2011

Invisible Fears, Visible Tears

Today the weather started out just gorgeous. Sunny, crystal blue skies.. but by 1 pm the sky darkened and rain clouds came over the Sierra Blanca accompanied by distant thunder. Shortly after 2 pm the rain started, the heaven opening up and it started pouring like an answered prayer. Almost all wildfires are contained but in order to prevent more disasters we need a considerable amount of rain to fall.

Last night was one of the few nights I have been able to sleep without being deathly ill, and sleep through the night uninterrupted. But the very second I opened my eyes before sunrise a migraine flashed into my eyes and chest pains had me crumpled into a heap.

As the day went on my stomach started tying in knots. No one has to convince me that my fears are not unfounded because I have sat outside with no protection from the elements, in weather that could easily kill a human being.

My youngest daughter needed help getting medical attention for the MRSA that seems like a monster out of control. This is just too much stress and the homeless cannot be the mothers and daughters they have been, should be and want to be.

My oldest daughter and I sat discussing "power" and "control" while sat at McDonalds yesterday. While trying to retrieve the building fund in 2008 Sylve Huckins would make quote obvious "jabs".. not subtle hints that could be taken either way, but direct and clear cut comments about our building fund.
And Robert Huckins, well there was simply no dealing with him without having threats and intimidation made against not only myself but my entire family. But the one statement that Robert Huckins made that will remain with me until death is, "I have your building fund. I will not return it and NO-ONE WILL DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT."

I was sat inside my truck and I had hit the DA's phone number during the conversation, so everything said was being recorded on the DA's answering machine as we spoke. "No-one will do anything about it." Words that will go with me to my grave.

Today I have to ask;
"How long is this man going to be allowed to abuse us?" "How many winters do I sleep outside in the cold, trying to come up with the funds to get a $1,000 junk single wide renovated, before someone makes this man return the money for our home that he stole?" "When will someone stop him from destroying my family?"

Yesterday was the deadline for Robert Huckins to pay the least amount to keep him out of jail for 27 years. This isn't the least he can pay but it's the minimum payment he can make without risking being picked up and put in jail for 27 years. When it arrives it's almost an insult when the simple process of getting electricity to the land will cost thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars we already paid. Of course, if no-one makes him pay the entire building fund he won't. Because NOT returning the money retains him the right to control, and inflict misery, and destroy. And he will not give up that willingly. I have not heard from Jan but I'm sure I will see her later this week. Until then I am walking on hot coals wondering about the electricity to our land.

The only thing left for me to do is to plead to the family members of Robert Huckins to intervene. If that be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins. If you would be caring enough, and humane enough to do so, please make your brother, son, cousin return the entire building fund he stole from us so that I can buy a home. I simply can't go on homeless. It is already July 2011 and my nerves are in shambles after over 3 years of hell, that should never have been allowed. I am devastated at the loss of my mother, my career, my home and all I want is what we have paid honest money for - and I beg for your mercy. You can practice deep listening in order to relieve the suffering in us, and in the other person. That kind of listening is described as compassionate listening. You listen only for the purpose of relieving suffering in the other person.~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Sunday, July 10, 2011

**** Invisible Women ****

For a Sunday morning the day started really late. I was awake in the middle of the night trying to find a way to get the single wide renovated and barn completed. I am so ill. I wish my health would hold up, but I have been so ill for so long I feel like a vampire has sucked the blood out of my system and the hope out of my heart.

I finally accepted my oldest daughters invitation to go shopping for school supplies. I managed to hold myself together while walking through the stores, but once sat on the McDonalds patio the gagging reflex started and I could hardly stop myself from vomiting.

It wasn't always this way. Before 2008 I was a teenager in an adults body. I had all the energy. motivation, enthusiasm to overcome all the physical disabilities I was born with. As an only child I was supposed to be looking after my mother in HER old age, not struggling homeless trying to undo the damage one family have caused.

Today I hide. I hide because my nerves are shattered and I can't stop vomiting. Being around people for more than a brief walk into TR's store or Wal-Mart makes the gagging reflect impossible to cover up . I hide because I just don't have the energy to keep a painted smile on my face. I hide because tears roll down my face uncontrollably at the mere mention or thought of my mother - who gave up her home to have one here in Ruidoso with the only members of her family living. I hide because the women who always had a beautifully clean home is sat in a dirty filthy garden shed that is soaked in raw sewage and mold... and I am so ashamed. I live not with my mother, each supporting one another in our later years, but as an animal desperately clawing and scratching any method I can find to get a home on my land and the barn finished.

I was the victim of a man who has an established pattern of victimizing women. True, not all are women, but there is a real pattern of victimizing elderly women. There are dozens of victims whose names have never been published. Amounts stolen that are incompressible. Dorothy died trying to recover her money. Below are words from her daughters:

My mother was a victim of Bob Huckins she worked her whole life to retire in Ruidoso when he cheated her of her dream. He took advantage of her kind heart her trust and she is left with an unfinished home - he walked away with well over 100K. We thought the safety measures were in place the bank 'WAS' to send an inspector for each draw he requested. He would bring an invoice to my mother who is sight impaired and tell her what he had done she would sign and submit to the bank. The bank would send an inspector and release the money to him. Reviewing the paperwork of work he claimed to have completed was fabricated and not even started but there on the bottom of the page was a signature from an inspector - a co-conspirator I can only suspect. She had to return to work in her 70's to pay for other contractors to make the house livable. My stomach turns when I go there and see the hardships she has had to endure and the conditions she has had to live in.
I hope you get your due Mr. Hutchins - you are a crook. My faith is only in the judicial system that they will successfully convict you and you spend you time behind bars.
****
I am also disgusted with Mr. Huckins...He left my mother with a half built house as stated by Judy Torres my sister. I blame him and the bank for distributing the monies to him when a full inspection was not completed properly. When I asked the bank for the names of the inspectors I was told they could not disclose that information. I did have a signature but of course could not identify any of the letters. And it seems rather odd when all the monies were distributed to Bob the loan officer at the bank was transferred. My mother sits there with a half built house while he is still running around the town and not behind bars.

And then there is victim Dana Dildine & her parents:

I'm trying to take care of my elderly mom who needs 24/7 care + work, etc. We have lost more money than we can afford at this point to help them survive the rest of their life. Every month is tough to meet the bills and we have no state assistance. He left us high and dry and cost us years worth of rent to help take care of my mom's increasing medical costs. I received a letter for creditors to attend the bankruptcy court in Roswell. I attended and was told that due to the bankruptcy they were removing the lien I put on his house. It's totally unfair.- Dana Dildine


All I have ever wanted is the home and barn we bought and paid for. To be able to see my mother enjoying her life with her only living family members. But that isn't Robert Huckins desire. He wants to abuse and make women feel as much pain as he is able. We are the "Invisible Women" that Robert Huckins has left in his wake. The ones so abused through financial rape that we will never see the light of day without help.

From: Denise
Date: 6/17/2008 6:14:34 AM
To: Robert Huckins
Subject: Tuesday... June 17th, 2008.

I think perhaps it's time for us to have a heart to heart talk about this situation and see if we can come to an amicable agreement. I re-read your e-mail sent yesterday and went back through all of the e-mails to February. The common thread running through all is that you don't have the time to build my home or finish my barn.
Today, in June 2008, I am as close to having my own bed, cooking in my own kitchen, as I was in December 2007 when my mothers funds to purchase a home was transferred from England to the United States.
This has been an absolute tragedy.
With the 1600 ft home not yet started and a horse barn that consists of nothing but 4 walls. With a well that has never been used and electricity not yet onto the property the only work of any substance that has been done on that property in two months is the septic system.

And the property has been left in an awful mess.
Bob, you simply do not have the time for this. And you have admitted such in almost every single e-mail.
In the past few weeks I have had three real estate agents view the property and tell me what the market value was while we tried to figure out what my losses were going to be if you did not adhere to the contract. Each one could not put a market value price above 40k for property I paid 30k for 6 months ago. The cost of the septic was not included in that estimate. Seeing as you will not tell me what the septic cost or who put it inI have no idea what the added value is. I do know that the well is a shallow well and that was not costly at all.
The barn, because it needed so much work and has NO building permits, was seen as a liability not an asset.
If the schedule that you gave me isn't going to be possible I think we should take a deep breath and negotiate what we can do to secure some relief.
There should be a substantial amount remaining in the building fund I had sent to purchase a home. A SUBSTANTIAL amount.
If it is enough to build a 1600 sq ft home then it certainly is enough for me to buy a nice modular and get it moved onto the property. If there is enough for you to finish the barn there is enough for me to finish the barn.
The difference is, if I purchase a modular and get friends and family to help I can be in a home within 4 weeks - a home with water & electricity instead of my sleeping in the cab of my truck wondering when my home will be finished.
You and Sylvi need to discuss this and give serious consideration to accepting my offer. I would relinquish the contract and walk away without a murmur or without any desire to speak about this situation ever again IF a SUBSTANTIAL amount of my money is returned to me.
We could then go about our business and see to the priorities we have. For myself that is getting myself into a home as quickly as possible, getting back to work and being able to see my mother.
~Denise~


His response?

"No, I will not return any monies, besides you were homeless when I met you - what's the difference?" The refusal to return my mothers money said by BOTH Sylvi & Robert Huckins!


A few weeks later the White Collar crime Investigators for the State of New Mexico were sent to Ruidoso on behalf of Governor Bill Richardson and Robert Huckins was given 30 days to return our building fund. In a recorded interview he said that he didn't need 30 days to return the money. He could give it back before and was willing to give it back before the 30 day period elapsed.

But days before he was arrested for stealing our building fund, having refused to return the money within the specified 30 day period, bank records show that Robert Huckins walked out of the Wells Fargo Bank on Sudderth with $110,000 in cash. That money disappeared into thin air, and another Invisible Woman was born.

Nothing more than an abusive cat and mouse game. But playing with the lives of women who have no other resources, deliberately destroying ... and I would like to know whom is protecting him?

Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, Michael Huckins, Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) I don't know whom in your family can motivate Robert Huckins to return our stolen building fund, but I pray that someone can make him return it. I'm exhausted, and so ill. I miss my mum, I want my career back. I am in despair. I want to sleep exactly like you all do.. in a clean house with furniture. I can't emotionally or physically handle anymore of this abuse and I am begging you to please get the money we had for our home back. I am begging as I have never begged before because I know that you may be my last hope.

Reverence for Life affords me my fundamental principle of morality, namely, that good consists in maintaining, assisting, and enhancing life and that to destroy, harm, or to hinder life is evil. Affirmation of the world -- that is affirmation of the will to live, which appears in phenomenal forms all around me -- is only possible for me in that I give myself out for other life. ~ Albert Schweitzer

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Stressed Saturday

Last night was one of those nights where you wish the Lord would take you home. It started with a family of racoons invading my boxes of belongings - again. And it ended with insomnia and fretting which lead to a violent migraine. By 3.30am I managed to fall asleep, but not before I realized that I had gone 24 hours without anything to eat. How one can be so stressed that you can forget to eat is a question I have no answers to. But I have done it more than once and I'm confident that I will do it again.Living in a shed makes luxuries like refrigerators, stoves impossible to have, so I had to wait until daylight to eat, and even then I became so churned up fretting over a home and barn I forgot.. again. By the time I managed to get something to eat at 1.20 pm this afternoon, my stomach was churning so much I couldn't even keep any food in my mouth, let alone swallow it.

Throughout the winter I tried to keep a sense of humor, but my sense of humor has long been replaced with paralytic fear and sheer desperation. I am so scared as the clock keeps ticking away and I find myself struggling in a quagmire of financial problems trying to get a home and barn on our land. There are so many fears. Being outside without a home through a 4th winter is one, not seeing my mother alive is another. A myriad of problems that can only be resolved by getting the home we bought and paid for in December of 2007.
It never even dawned on me that stress can kill you. But having gone through the trauma I have lived through there is no doubt in my mind that stress is a cold blooded killer. Dorothy McKeever had to go to the Lord to get relief and justice. Is that going to be my fate?

The problem with the utilities/electric is going to take some time to work out so there is little point in phoning Jan for an update. I was such a nervous wreck the last time I spoke to her she had to repeat herself at least three times for it to sink in that she could do no other than wait for a clear course of action from the electrician friend.
The weather report during the past week kept saying that the monsoon rains were due to start.. but they didn't. Yet we can feel the moisture in the air so it's not going to be long before we see what we desperately need... a substantial amount of rain. But for today the weather is simply gorgeous. Sunny, warm and beautiful. Praying to see some rain clouds come over the Sierra Blanca very soon.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find anyone who cares. Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, Michael Huckins, Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) Anyone who may know where our building fund is hidden, or anyone who may help retrieve it. I am praying that one of you can speak to your cousin, brother, son and appeal to him to return the building fund he stole from us. While it was 24 degrees below zero outside you were all in warm homes. I was outside with no heat. While your lives have gone on uninterrupted. While your lives have gone on as normal, my family, my career, our lives have been irreparably shattered. I have not been able to see my mother since she came to Ruidoso to buy a home in 2007. We have tried every means to go on without the stolen money. But we can't obtain a home and restore our family unless it is returned. I implore, I beg as I have never begged before, I am begging for mercy. Please get Robert Huckins to return what wasn't his to take. What was our legal property. What we desperately needed to put a roof over our heads. To have a home. No-one should be so cruel and callous to steal someone's home and leave women homeless and desperate.

What does Reverence for Life say abut the relations between [humanity] and the animal world? Whenever I injury any kind of life I must be quite certain that it is necessary. I must never go beyond the unavoidable, not even in apparently insignificant things. The farmer who has mowed down a thousand flowers in his meadow in order to feed his cows must be careful on his way home not to strike the head off a single flower by the side of the road in idle amusement, for he thereby infringes on the law of life without being under the pressure of necessity~ Albert Schweitzer

Friday, July 8, 2011

Money Scams News


A link to a truly interesting web site run by a born again Christian.

Money Scams + Read Money Scams News

News on Financial Crimes, Investment Fraud, Bank Fraud, Money Scams, Arrests, Convictions and Sentencing.

About the Web Site Owner:

Greed is a cancer on our society, which hurts us all.

St. Thomas Aquinas wrote that greed is a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things.

Hoarding, theft, and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all inspired by greed and shall be Judged by GOD.

It's time for greatness -- not for greed. It's a time for idealism -- not ideology. It is a time not just for compassionate words, but compassionate action.~Marian Wright Edelman

One Day At A Time, Sweet Jesus

Yesterday afternoon I was so deathly ill I came back to this shed and slept .. too ill to stay awake. Earlier in the day Robin Harvey and I had discussed my situation, and caring.. going over this situation where you can be left destitute and homeless by a convicted felon in a nation where rights are supposed to be protected. Talking about my mother, furniture and belonging being ruined, life and career in shambles trying to find the fund to get a home.

Nearby stood a long time friend whom I have not seen in years and had no idea what was going on. He immediately offered to help me in whatever way he could. I asked him if he could help me put the barn together because I can't chance anyone helping with the single-wide who isn't a professional contractor. Having been shut down long enough by NM CID to lose the volunteer help I had, and not being able to find anyone else to help, I'm no longer sure that I didn't throw good money after bad buying the single wide. It needed to be finished before the winter snows arrived last winter to prevent further damage - today it may have sustained so much damage it may be totally unrepairable.What an awful waste of money when you spend thousands of dollars desperate to have a house - a roof over ones head - a place to call home - and everything keeps crumbling in your hands because you can't get any help, and you can't find the stolen money that came from the sale of one home belonging to a lady born in 1927 and was intended to buy another home without undue delay. And those monies were the only resources available.

Jan phoned me in the late afternoon and wanted to meet me at Wal-Mart but I was too ill to even get to Ruidoso Downs. Still, she delivered the news that she had spoken to the certified electrician friend and he was going to contact Otero County Electric Co-Op and find out what I needed to do to get utilities to my land.
It has been such a chaotic situation because Robert Huckins was paid to put electricity to that land, and Otero County electric Co-Op have been wonderful trying to plow through the constant confusion caused by him. In 3 years no-one has even tried to find out how to get utilities there even though after Robert Huckins was arrested I paid the $3,000 to Otero County Electric Co-Op and have purchased permits. Perhaps more than once.

Please God, let us find a way to get the utilities on, and a house in place before winter sets in - again. If I have no success I will simply fold for I can't handle this struggle anymore. Emotionally and physically I can't handle another winter left homeless, this has been such a long hard road. I miss my mother desperately. I am so exhausted and so ill.

I can only appeal again to the Ogilvie-Huckins family. If that person is Malcolm Huckins, Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins. Your brother, son, cousin stole our building fund and having tried every method to get a home without it we simply can't do the impossible. My mother sold her ONLY home to buy one here. Not a second home, or a spare rental. The only home she has had, that took 60+ years of working full time to obtain. Please help us retrieve our building fund so that we, too, can have a home before winter arrives, and have our lives returned to us. We have put up with more pain and suffering than any women should be forced to withstand - and we are not the only women to go through living hell because of Robert Huckins. PLEASE help me help myself. I have never begged before in my life, but after 3 years of trying to get a home it's become clearly obvious to everyone that we won't ever have a home - unless our building fund is returned.

The meaning of good and bad, of better and worse, is simply helping or hurting. ~Ralph Waldo Emerso