With lows of 35 degree's and highs in the upper 60's, gorgeous sunny weather, this is turning into a tropical vacation. What a blessing after those -20's temperatures. I'm somewhat shocked that I managed to survive record breaking below freezing lows while sat in a garden shed . This is a nightmare without end.
Physically and emotionally depleted, so ill, slowly approaching my 60's, I simply can't go through another winter homeless. I can't survive this again and I know that is a reality.
Last night I struggled trying to make a mental list of what I need to get done on my land to have a "home" before I am yet again faced with sitting outside in the bitter cold looking at the warm comfortable homes around me. I have not had the courage to go near that property since we dropped off the supplies a few weeks ago, and then I didn't go near the trailer or barn. Emotionally I can't take the heartbreak.
I have antique furniture sat in open horse trailers, and I dare not even look at the damage the snow and rain has done. I have a house trailer that wasn't weatherproofed with thousands of dollars in building supplies - and I don't know how it could all survive this winter without irreparable damage.
The electricity has been a problem I don't seem to be able to resolve. I paid Otero County the $3,000 to have the electricity taken to my land, but I can't find poles that I can afford to buy. If I can locate two poles within my price range I can get electricity to the property.
Of course, we are back to needing permits - again.
A licensed contractor can build without permits, but not a woman left homeless by a licensed contractor. I just love the State of New Mexico.
With the metal roof sat on the ground, and the pipe needed to put the metal roof up, it shouldn't be hard to get a roof onto that barn. But I have been trying to do something as simplistic as get a metal roof on that barn for 3 years now - so clearly it's not as simplistic as I want to believe. It's not simplistic because there is just ME.
As soon as the State of New Mexico red tagged the trailer the volunteer help disappeared.
What to do about the trailer I have no idea. Some tell me it can be renovated, others say it can't. It certainly can't be renovated without help. The State of New Mexico won't let the electrical or plumbing be done by anyone but licensed contractors.
I have a trailer, a barn, a well and a septic. How to put it all together is my biggest problem.
My boss offered me a large metal building for $400. As Jan and I were carrying Copper to the truck we looked at the building and Jan said, "That building would be a lifesaver for you on your property.. but where are you going to find the help to move it? With help we could have had you in a warm home 2 years ago."
She is correct and I'm simply overwhelmed with it all. But I have to hit the ground running and try with diligence to have a home this year. It's been too long a road, too hard a road and I can't go on further homeless.
So as the weather starts to give indications that spring is so close, my mind goes to my land, my home and trying to do the impossible.
For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.
