Yesterday I tried to concentrate on finding help to start this single-wide and barn while I worked, but a migraine pounded my head and by late afternoon through the night it hurt to even lay my head on a pillow. No matter how I put the pillow under me a feather pillow felt like a jackhammer.
In the morning I had unhooked the flatbed trailer and tried to push it into it's parking place alongside the 2 horse trailer. After several attempt I realized that I was too ill to even be able to do that so I dropped the trailer onto the jack and walked away huffing and puffing in so much pain.
Thoughts just spun around my mind like a ferris wheel. If it's going to cost thousands of dollars to find TWO electric poles with meters, and if the State of New Mexico demands TWO electric permits and a licensed electrician to install the poles, then I have to find a way to cover those costs. After those electric costs I would have to face the $40-60 an hour labor costs to get licensed help in to use the material I have already purchased, and face more permits.
I am so overwhelmed with all of this.
The monthly payments from Robert Huckins are not helping in the least because I keep going two steps forward and four steps back with health problems due to being homeless. I started to wonder if I dare take the savings I have and risk a gamble.
The local postal depot owner had given me the name and phone number of a t-shirt printer in Roswell, but if I had a few hundred t-shirts printed up would I be able to sell them and make enough profit to finish this blasted single-wide and barn?
I have designed hundreds of graphics for t-shirts, so the files are ready to go to a printer. And I have series of designs that are truly outstanding, but would the profit meet the need if I sold them wholesale? Retail profits are simply out of the question.
My daughter's are advising me not to. But they also advised me not to sink the money into a trailer and building supplies for fear that I wouldn't be able to get any help once the material had been purchased. Now, having already sunk so much money into the project dare I risk what I have to finish the project?
I'm pretty lost and confused.
The weather is simply gorgeous. Ruidoso is packed with tourists. Had I been able to start this project 4 weeks ago it would be almost finished.. and here we are going into June. Still beating my head up against a brick wall and mighty scared.
One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement. When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own. ~ -John O'Donohue
