Today it's overcast and chilly, and I am still trying to fight this pneumonia that is really doing a shocking job on me. It feels like rain is right around the corner.
Yesterday the backhoe woman appeared wanted to know if my employer wants some of his fruit trees moved, saplings that we only planted 7 years ago, because we have not been watering them.
I bite my tongue not even wanting to prolong the conversation by explaining that we have had more rain in 2010 than we have had since 1955. We have not had a sprinkler in use for the entire year. It was an almost laughable situation. Move them where to? He planted them where he wanted them.
My employer met the request for him to contact her with the usual rolling of eyes and sighs of exasperation, said that she needs to leave his tree's alone. Then went to hide. Presumably to let me handle it. He will now hide for days for he, like myself, is terrified of confrontations.
The entire situation got me to thinking about "boredom" and what it can do to people. I'm sitting in a glass house with this one, because I'm taking to curling into a fetal position deathly ill, giving up hope of doing anything that brings any level of success. So I need to look at myself first and foremost.
Scripture tells us that:
After Having Done All.. STAND! - Eph 6:10-20
But what do you do when you have done all and you need to keep going, because the alternative is beyond the comprehension of most. I am not getting any younger, nor healthier and I'm unsure if I can take one more winter in the bitter cold. My mother isn't getting any younger and I fear never seeing her alive.Today is a day of reflection, what can I do NOW. I don't expect to hear from Senator Adair's office for a few days, and I am still trying to get all the furniture out of the trailer - where it has all sat for over 3 years.
But there has to be something constructive that I can do to rectify the problems and get this home back onto a "legal" even keel. The human reaction to adversity is to keep going, keep trying to find a new route, turning over stones to find the answer. When human beings stop being "productive" they have a tenancy to embark on behavior that is "destructive." Whether that be gossiping, getting frustrated, worrying, trying to control others - boredom. It's all the same in the end because it all stems from not knowing what to do in the circumstances you are in and looking for something to "do."
I have turned over enough stones to have moved the Sierra Blanca peak and I just don't know what else it is I should do. There is something so surreal about this.
I am simply lost and confused... and all I can do is wake up crying and fall asleep crying.
But I'm not yet enough lost and confused to water fruit tree's that have been water logged for an entire summer and will clearly be soon water logged again.
