The temperature was a good 7 degree's higher this morning when I woke up, which is usually before daybreak. After noon the clouds started to accumulate and it became pretty miserable, and by early evening a serious storm was approaching.I'm back on track trying to focus on a resolve for the house situation, but for the life in me I have no idea what that means anymore.
The pneumonia is starting to ease off and I feel better than I have in months, I can actually breath better even if I still can't talk. Perhaps the few days of dry weather has helped an awful lot but that will be short lived with storms heading this way from the west coast.
People give me all kinds of advice as though this is the first rodeo I have been in. But yesterday a friend said, "If CID won't let you have a home, and you can't get any help, advertise your property as the ideal place to build a mosque."
I'll have to admit that it took me 10 minutes to stop laughing and I needed a laugh yesterday.
Another friend suggested that seeing that the State of New Mexico refused to protect my mothers money, and won't tell me where it went to, and now put road blocks in front of me preventing me from living on the property we purchased, perhaps the State of New Mexico should buy it.
Now there's a thought.
One of the judges in the 12th District once told me that it was nice that I could still smile through all the adversity. But it's all a facade. I'm horrified that I can't find a resolve, no matter which direction I turn.
I have not been back to the house/land since I finished painting the barn and trying to get stuff out of the trailer. I have an oak desk and a bakers rack that are totally ruined having been wet through many times. Family photos that can't be replaced sat in molded boxes.
It's just breaking my heart.
My belongings are so scattered that a few weeks ago I walked into a local thrift store and there sat one of our tack boxes. I stood open mouthed wondering how on earth one of my tack boxes ended up at a thrift store. In fact it was the first tack box my oldest daughter had when she was showing her Welsh Section A pony in lead line classes in 1979.
We did a "blue" show ring color theme that year, and I sat for days before the first show matching up everything in the same color combination.
The cashier told me to take it, but I insisted on paying for something I already owned bewildered at how it managed to find it's way to a Ruidoso thrift store.
You feel like your whole life is in shambles. The cost of storage was so high that the backhoe woman insisted that I move everything out of the storage units to a shed my boss had built as a 2 horse stall in 2008, on land that she had purchased from him some months prior. Then she demanded that I move everything - again- shortly after. Or else.. she would "dispose" of it. This is the entire contents of a home AND professional horse barn, a "life," with the exception of the antique wood furniture.
The "control" issue again. Manufactured "drama" as a show of power.
It was an absolute nightmare having to stop work, stop everything, and try to move so much stuff, and no-where to go with it. It started raining before I was scheduled to move everything and throughout the moving period. You couldn't walk without sinking ankle deep in mud. We couldn't get vehicles in, even my Ford 350 4x4 slid out of control. Tom & Suzie Stockton who had helped move everything out of storage units some time before returned to help me for 3 days trying to pack everything and move it.
It was simply grueling work for 3 people in their late 50's and 60's with serious health problems. We finally got as many of the "boxed" items as we could into the metal shed I am staying in.. which then flooded perpetually for the entire summer.
What a mess it was, and still is.
I have had over 3 years of trying to move my entire life from one spot to another. Seeing our blue tack box sat in that thrift store I clearly knew that some of it seems to have "escaped."
"Before there were self help books, people had horses." - Anonymous
