Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Nuisance Of Pain

Again when I woke up at 5 am it was in the upper teens outside. Cold enough to wake me up and keep me awake even though I desperately wanted to get back to sleep.

I prayed that the pain I experienced yesterday would subside, but it didn't. As I fell asleep last night the most awful chest pains had doubled me up for an hour or more.

You can't even think through pain. Everything just becomes a foggy blur. When your body is falling apart I think it would be funny - after all there are thousands of jokes about growing old and falling apart - if not for the agonizing PAIN.
Yesterday evening I must have taken a missed step, but I can't remember doing it. My feet are so cold and remain cold until I get in the vehicle to run errands. Yesterday evening I tried to walk around the bed I have inside the garden shed to get a cup of coffee, my feet tingling numb with cold. Almost like pins and needles.
The next minute I am falling.

As I tried to put my feet back under my body I couldn't use my left foot. It seems that something had wrapped around a bone tumor and like a pinched nerve it sent pain shooting up my leg.

One person, Rev. John Sobiech, Minister &Homeless Activist on twitter was making remarks about the emotional & physical hardship of homelessness and even though I didn't respond this pastor was saying exactly what I feel.

I know only too well what it feels like to be suicidal. I know what it feels like to not know if I can go on one more day, or hour. I know bitter cold without relief.

Two years of being pulled through the courts is a long time for a homeless woman, four years is more than any human being should have to be tortured through.
By 9 am the temperature had risen to 24 degree's, by 11 am it was 40 degree's, but my body didn't seem to recognize the increase in temperature. To be very honest, neither did my mind.

Around 2 pm Jan phoned and we discussed the electricity, and the tires on the stock trailer. The electricity company hasn't phoned back and neither has the tire repairman ~ but I'll have to admit that my mind has been on my frozen body, not the honey-do list that seems to be on the maƱana side of the list.

Amazingly she said that the temperature closer to Nogal had been nothing like to the temperatures we are having here in Alto. I am praying for some warmer temperatures but there is nothing above 50 degree's showing for the entire week.. and most days are forecast to be painfully cold.

I had to run an errand as the sun was setting and returned to the shed after dark. Under a full moon these mountains looked gorgeous but the temperature was dropping into the 20's - and I am still wearing the orange hoodie that has become a life saver for me.

At 8 pm one homeless activist on twitter, after trying to find somewhere for a mother with children said, "As politicians fight and lie (debate) 7 million people in the USA are HOMELESS!! WAKE UP USA!!!"

I concur... this is pretty disgraceful when those who claim to be altruistic close the doors of their homes... and ignore those who don't have doors to close.
Someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins. I, like those victims who came before me, have been dragged through a living hell and I simply beg for your mercy. I can't obtain a home until Robert Huckins returns the money he stole from us that was to buy a home. Had he given the money back when he promised the white collar crime investigators I wouldn't be making this plea today. Had he never stolen any money I wouldn't be making this plea today. But he pushes the abuse and torment to an extent where no alternatives are offered. I am homeless and I want to see my mum and return to my career, so I won't stop asking if I have to ask every single day until I die. Robert Huckins gave no-one an alternative, so I plead with sincerity for your mercy. It cost me $140,000 to have NO home - be homeless - just to satisfy the greed and criminal behavior of Robert Huckins..

Today Robert Huckins has his own home...

He also has OUR home.....
He also has a lot of people's money...

And his freedom.

I have NOTHING but the continual cruel
ty and torment of being homeless.
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.