Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Living In A Home Is Greatly Over Rated..

My youngest daughter suffered serious complications because of the MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) on Friday but the ER sent her home, and she was back in the hospital by the start of the week. Because the MRSA has already gone into her vital organs this is getting so stressful for this is like the proverbial yo-yo. One minute it's under control, the next it's not. Back and forth so quickly you don't know what is happening .

In a deepening recession, without medical insurance, and unable to work, the resources available are limited. She, like all of us, depend upon family members coming in to help finance the medical costs. With almost $50,000 owing thus far it's just not easy. But you do what you have to do.

It would be a hardship, but not a devastating hardship, if I was in a home with a normal earning potential. But trying to build a home while homeless, paying medical bills could potentially end the sliver of hope I am trying to retain.

If I have to use all my building fund to get her the medical care she needs, that is what I will do. That is an obvious and perfectly normal thing for a mother to do.
But I shouldn't have to make such an awful decision. Robert & Sylvi Huckins are not been forced into such a dilemma ... there again.. they are not being forced into homelessness. They can sit on stolen money and no-one seems the least interested in forcing them to give the money back so lives ~ our lives ~ can return to normal.

I can't even start to describe the frustration I feel waking up each and everyday to this judicial fiasco, and the worry of being a homeless mother, grand-mother and daughter in the middle of a serious recession. But, having heard that she is going back to hospital this morning I don't have to worry about risking designing t-shirts to increase my building fund and get into a home. Homes must be greatly over rated for me to not need one.

The weather is taking a turn, it's cloudy and overcast and rain is due to arrive and stay for a spring monsoon through the next week. I can't say that it will not be welcome.

Having marketed horses for the Lazy J for weeks success may be on the horizon with the one performance stallion and perhaps a few other horses heading into the show ring. It's long overdue and though I'm going to be sad to watch the stallion leave I would be delighted to see him go where I cannot take him under these circumstances.

People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within. ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Sunday, May 29, 2011


Yesterday I tried to concentrate on finding help to start this single-wide and barn while I worked, but a migraine pounded my head and by late afternoon through the night it hurt to even lay my head on a pillow. No matter how I put the pillow under me a feather pillow felt like a jackhammer.

In the morning I had unhooked the flatbed trailer and tried to push it into it's parking place alongside the 2 horse trailer. After several attempt I realized that I was too ill to even be able to do that so I dropped the trailer onto the jack and walked away huffing and puffing in so much pain.

Thoughts just spun around my mind like a ferris wheel. If it's going to cost thousands of dollars to find TWO electric poles with meters, and if the State of New Mexico demands TWO electric permits and a licensed electrician to install the poles, then I have to find a way to cover those costs. After those electric costs I would have to face the $40-60 an hour labor costs to get licensed help in to use the material I have already purchased, and face more permits.
I am so overwhelmed with all of this.

The monthly payments from Robert Huckins are not helping in the least because I keep going two steps forward and four steps back with health problems due to being homeless. I started to wonder if I dare take the savings I have and risk a gamble.

The local postal depot owner had given me the name and phone number of a t-shirt printer in Roswell, but if I had a few hundred t-shirts printed up would I be able to sell them and make enough profit to finish this blasted single-wide and barn?

I have designed hundreds of graphics for t-shirts, so the files are ready to go to a printer. And I have series of designs that are truly outstanding, but would the profit meet the need if I sold them wholesale? Retail profits are simply out of the question.

My daughter's are advising me not to. But they also advised me not to sink the money into a trailer and building supplies for fear that I wouldn't be able to get any help once the material had been purchased. Now, having already sunk so much money into the project dare I risk what I have to finish the project?
I'm pretty lost and confused.

The weather is simply gorgeous. Ruidoso is packed with tourists. Had I been able to start this project 4 weeks ago it would be almost finished.. and here we are going into June. Still beating my head up against a brick wall and mighty scared.

One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement. When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own. ~ -John O'Donohue

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Whoever Said Winning Isn't Everything

Yesterday was one of those days you wish had never happened. It wasn't that there was more horrific tragedies ... it was a day lost in confusion and pain. It was simply gorgeous weather going into this holiday week-end. The first races of the season started at Ruidoso Downs, and it should have been such a productive day. But it wasn't.

After a bad night I woke up very ill but by noon a migraine had started in earnest as I tried to figure out any method to find help to get this single wide and barn finished, and no matter what I did the migraine was going to get a whole lot worse before it got better.

At the Lazy J Jan and I discussed every single topic under the face of the earth. Marketing horses in an economy that isn't showing any sign of recovery, the state of the economy, the state of the horse industry, life, careers, hopes, dreams, disappointments... and growing old .... but as I drove away I realized that I had not asked her the most important question. "Did she speak to her electrician friend about the problem I have getting electricity to my property?"

I returned back to the shed and managed to pay my insurance policy on the phone late yesterday afternoon before crawling into bed so deathly ill I wanted to scream. By 2 am this morning I was wide awake, but still violently ill with my stomach churning over and tunnel vision.

I know that I have to find a way to get this single wide renovated and electricity onto that land but for the life in me I don't know how.

Another horse died yesterday of EHV-1 and it's causing serious concern for everyone, including myself.

Horse dies from equine herpes virus

Updated: Friday, 27 May 2011, 12:12 PM MDT
Published : Friday, 27 May 2011, 12:04 PM MDT

LAS CRUCES (KRQE) - A Bernalillo County horse died Thursday from a dangerous and spreading viral disease that now appears to have infected a horse in Torrance County, the New Mexico Department of Agriculture reported Friday.

“Two horses in central New Mexico have died from the virus. One horse in Lea County has recovered and two in the state are still ill,” State Veterinarian Dr. Dave Fly said in a statement released by NMDA. “All cases being reported involve horses already placed in one of the three quarantined facilities we have in the state.”

The outbreak of equine herpes virus EHV-1 and equine herpes virus myeloencephalopathy EHM is believed to have started with horses that attended the National Cutting Horse Association Championships in Ogden, Utah, earlier this month. A tot

Fifteen horses from New Mexico attended the show.

“Although the horses that attended the show have been quarantined for several days, there is still a threat of secondary exposures that may have occurred at other events or by horses that have not yet been identified,” Fly said. “We believe that an additional seven to 10 days is needed before normal equine movement is recommended.”

Horse owners in New Mexico have been urged to limit travel to help limit exposure. The New Mexico Livestock Board also recommends that major or large equine events be canceled for the next ten days.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture reports the number of cases of the virus more than doubled over the last week to 75 confirmed cases. Eleven horses have been euthanized and another 17 show symptoms of the neurological problems that often lead to death, according to USDA.

And when you don't believe that anymore heartbreak can shake your foundation, yet another story just takes hold of your heart and doesn't let go..

Children orphaned by tornadoes carry on, and grieve

PHIL CAMPBELL, Alabama (Reuters) - Five-year-old Garrett LeClere survived the devastating twister that struck Phil Campbell, Alabama on April 27 with two broken arms and a fractured skull.
His parents did not make it. Rescuers searched for a day before finding the bodies of Jay and Amy LeClere beneath the rubble of their home.

"They are with Jesus," Garrett told Reuters this week.

Many children lost loved ones in the killer tornadoes that carved up 610 miles of Alabama last month and left 238 dead. Though there is no official state count, a Reuters review of storms victims' obituaries found that at least eight young people were completely orphaned.

For those children, it will take years to process their experience and realign with their new normal, experts said.

"The trauma is deep. The wound is deep. Being orphaned is what we call a forever loss," Dr. Jane Aronson, Chief Executive of Worldwide Orphans Foundation, said on Friday.

"You cannot tell them when to heal, and that can take a very long time."

Fundraising efforts are underway in St. Clair County, Alabama, to help three sisters who lost their parents and other relatives in a twister there.

Cicely Sanders, a 21-year-old college student, plans to care for her younger sisters, ages 14 and 18, said Kandy Smith, a retired teacher leading the effort to raise money.

The 18-year-old Sanders daughter remains hospitalized with a shattered pelvis.

Cicely "says a house isn't a home without a mom and dad, but is holding up her head and doing her best," Smith said.


Young disaster survivors often gain compassion and a higher level of moral development, said Andy McNiel, executive director of the Children's Hospital's Amelia Center in Birmingham, which specializes in trauma counseling.

But they are at a high risk for drug abuse, promiscuity and mental illness down the road if they do not properly work through their grief, McNiel said.

"Children are keen observers but poor interpreters, and there is no snake oil to take away grief," he said.

Guilt is common, though some children do not quickly express their feelings.

Young Garrett LeClere does.

"I feel sorry for my parents," he said. "They wasted their lives saving me."

There was room enough in the family bathtub for only Garrett and his sister to weather the storm in Phil Campbell. The boy remembers the tub spinning and being lifted before he landed hard 200 yards from his leveled home.

"I heard myself scream really loud. The hurt was really painful," he said.

His screams saved his life. A volunteer fire chief found Garrett covered in blood and mud and carried him in the back of a pickup to a hospital, where he remained for eight days.

Jeff McCormick, another volunteer fireman and the father of Garrett's two half-siblings, heard rumors of a rescued 5-year-old John Doe when he arrived at the LeClere home to assist in the search for his injured daughter, ex-wife and her husband.

With some persistence, he cracked through privacy laws to locate Garrett and obtained a court order to become legal guardian of the blue-eyed, blonde-haired boy.

McCormick, a truck driver, and his current wife have taken off work since the storm to care for Garrett. In his new home last week, the child played with a new brother, hardly slowed by the blue casts on his arms.

His 13-year-old sister watched nearby, the storm scars on her face and arms still visible. She had delivered the news to Garrett about his parents.

"He is doing real good," McCormick said. "He has his moments where he will break down and cry for 15 minutes. He takes comfort in thinking Jesus needed more angels, and his parents are looking out for him from heaven."

Out of the ashes of misery, a little hope emerges..

Pup With Broken Legs Crawls Home After Surviving Tornado

A puppy crawled home with two broken legs after being thrown high into the air by a tornado that ripped through Alabama.

Mason, a terrier mix, was feared dead after the storm but was found two weeks later by his owners in the wreckage of their home.

"This is probably the most dramatic we've seen as far as an injury in an animal that's survived this long," said Phil Doster at Birmingham Jefferson County Animal Control shelter, who is caring for Mason following surgery. The shelter has dealt with hundreds of pets hurt by the storms.

"For an animal just to show up on someone's porch after this time was pretty remarkable, especially with the condition he's in."

Mason has become a minor celebrity, and has a Facebook page with more than 1,200 friends.

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying. ~ - George Bird Evans

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Deafening Silence

The silence has been simply deafening today. No sudden announcements of more tornadoes, floods or wildfires but that doesn't mean that there wasn't any. It simply means that I was too far from a source of media to hear of any.

The satellite photo's of Joplin, Missouri are horrendous. This is what total devastation looks like in the aftermath. This is what is remaining when people have seen their lives flash before their eyes. This is what it looks like before you find all the dead and missing.

No matter how much I try I cannot imagine how human beings are going to be able to face the rebuilding process after so much destruction. It is unimaginable. Yet today I got into a debate about the middle east. The heartache and heartbreak of the loses and destruction caused by nature, is what we are deliberately doing to others on a much grander scale.

It may not be politically correct to say so, but I doubt that I have ever been politically correct in my life. What I do know is that human beings are precious. Their hearts break, and they have a right to not have their hearts broken other than the harshness that life can give without our help.

So today I was particularly pensive and lost in thought about one thing.. people. Human beings and.... humanity.

Behind the scenes, no longer taking front page attention, the floods continue to rise and spread in Louisiana. And homes are going under water. People's lives are being destroyed.

If I had one wish, only one. I probably wouldn't wish for wealth, health or happiness. I would wish that all who profess Christ could show the love of Christ to all. No matter what their color, creed, nationality, religion or where they lived.

With simply glorious weather this hasn't been a day to worry or fret about my own home, but tomorrow I have to return to the inevitable and unenviable place of trying to do what I have been unable to do. Renovate that single wide and barn. And I do so praying with diligence that God calms the storms in the United States and spares everyone else further hardship and heartbreak..
I pray the same for those in the Middle East..

You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful. ~Marie Curie

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Day Three: More Twisters,More Heartbreak

I am virtually speechless at the continual mayhem that has risen up to destroy so many communities. 69 tornadoes in a 24 hour period. From Texas and Oklahoma, to Kansas, Arkansas to Missouri and Ohio.. and the same weather pattern is moving out of the mid-west to threaten the east coast states of Kentucky and surrounding areas. And it is gaining in strength and potential for damage if that can be believed.

Over 40 MILLION people are in jeopardy of being hit by a tornado tonight, the figures are so overwhelming you can't even comprehend it. The stories of death and destruction more than pull your heart out of your chest. The heartbreak so engulfing you can't imagine how anyone can survive through this level of tragedy. A mother of 3 very children is in critical condition in the hospital, she is pregnant with her fourth child. One of her children died today, the 15 month old cannot be found - anywhere.
I listened and wondered, how can a mothers heart cope with such losses. How can you deal with not knowing where your 15 month old is? How can you lose 2 children? How can you come out of this and remain sane?

First they found his dark blue teddy bear. Then frantic relatives searching for toddler Skyular Logsdon spotted his red T-shirt and pants, torn, rain-soaked and wrapped around a telephone pole.

The little boy hasn't been seen since Sunday night when a massive tornado ripped through the centre of Joplin, Mo., killing at least 123 people and leaving many more missing.

As search teams took advantage of a break in the bad weather on Tuesday to look for survivors under mountains of wreckage, Skyular's relatives carefully lifted up the wooden beams and twisted metal of what was once his home.

They prayed for signs of life from the boy, who was about 15 months old. His injured parents are in hospital.

"We have searched every morgue, every hospital, every place we can think of," said Rusty Burton, a stepgrandfather to Skyular. "I looked at every piece of this house I could."

The discovery of the young boy's clothes on the telephone pole nearly 180 metres away was gut-wrenching.

"It's all torn up. I don't want him to have been wearing this," said relative Pamela Tate, sobbing as she gripped the wet, tiny clothes. "All I want is for him to be alive. That is all I want."

The search for Skyular is but one of the many sorrow-filled hunts for loved ones in this southwestern Missouri city of 50,000, where about 1,500 people remain missing. Authorities said the missing could include many who simply have not yet been able to let relatives know where they are.

Authorities in Joplin said they were racing against forecasts for more bad weather as well as grim survival odds for anyone still trapped.

"We're hopeful that we'll still be finding people," said Joplin fire Chief Mitch Randles, who said there were several reports of cries coming from beneath collapsed buildings. "We want to make every opportunity we can to find everybody that is still in the rubble and has survived to this point." For Kenny McKeel, the search for his lost family is over. Only hours after the tornado hit, McKeel found his father's body and that of his stepmother laid out on the lawn, their home collapsed around them. The neighbours -a couple and three children -also died, he said. On Tuesday he pulled his father's cane from the debris and tried to hold back tears.

"I see this stuff. It means a lot to me," said McKeel. "And it kills me."

The tornado that raked Joplin was the deadliest single twister in the United States since 1947, when a tornado in Woodland, Okla., killed 181 people.

When it struck around dinner time Sunday night, the funnel cloud cut a path nearly 9.5 kilometres long and up to one kilometre wide. Some 2,000 houses and many other businesses, schools and other buildings were destroyed.

"Pretty much everybody in town knows somebody they've lost," Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon said Tuesday.

It was the latest in a string of powerful storms this spring that have killed more than 300 people and caused more than $2 billion in property damage across the United States.

Joplin's tornado likely caused insured losses between $1 billion and $3 billion, according to catastrophe risk modelling firm EQECAT.

Search efforts have been complicated by bad weather and two law enforcement officials were struck by lightning on Monday. One remained in critical condition.

More storms were headed toward the region. Meteorologists forecast a significant tornado outbreak Tuesday night that could spawn 50 or more tornado reports from Oklahoma City to Kansas and possibly Joplin.

Yet the stories continue. A young husband who lost his life trying to protect his high school sweetheart wife. Half of their home was destroyed, the other half remained so intact their wedding photo's sat unharmed. A woman who died after being told that her father had been killed. Parents, husbands, father, brothers, sisters ~ hardly anyone spared from their lives being touched. Grown men crying, not because they are weak, but because they look upon the heartache etched on faces. Lives shattered. Communities destroyed.

I miss my mum. I miss my home. I have not pretended otherwise. But as I look around at the absolute unthinkable, my mind wonders back to Louisiana and the people whose homes are being flooded out. To Texas where wildfires are destroying homes. Wyoming under water from flooding and I look upon the multiple disasters all coming in unison and I wonder what is happening.

If there is an answer, I don't have it.

Everything in nature contains all the power of nature. Everything is made of one hidden stuff. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

$76,720.24 Still Owed

This morning I woke up at 4.30 am wide awake due to a shocking nightmare. I was stunned that I was in a shed, literally floored that I wasn't in a comfortable home. It was one of those times when you simply can't believe what you are experiencing, this simply cannot be true. Then the tornado victims came to mind, and I couldn't imagine what it would be like to wake up and find loved ones dead and so much destruction around you.
Today more people died as tornadoes touched down in other states.

The weather has been simply glorious in the Ruidoso region for the past few days, so nice that you almost feel guilty when you hear the nightmare so many others are facing in other states. Yet still I cannot find any help to get that barn and single wide finished ~ or even started.
I am desperately trying to remain upbeat, desperately trying to find anything to cling onto.

Yet I am physically so ill that I must look like a waif and stray - beyond hope. Nightmares plague me and panic engulfs me. I have no idea how to find any help to get into a home.

As of May 2011 Robert Huckins owes me $76,720.24. But it's costing more trying to deal with the health problems associated with being homeless than the State of New Mexico demanded that he pay me per month.
This is so wrong. So evil.

And still the mid-west takes a beating:

Residents of Joplin still missing

JOPLIN, Mo. — About 1,500 people are unaccounted for in this battered city, a Fire Department official said Tuesday, as rescue workers took advantage of a few hours of sunny weather to continue searching for survivors in buildings leveled by the country’s deadliest tornado in more than 60 years. At least 122 people have died.

While the number of those unaccounted for is alarmingly high in a city with only 49,000 people — and raises the specter of a far higher death count — it may merely be a reflection of the widespread breakdown of communication systems here in the wake of Sunday’s vicious storm. Many residents who fled ahead of the tornado or survived it may be unable to notify the authorities or family members who have reported them missing.

Capt. Robert Daus of the Maryland Heights Fire District, who is helping to lead a team of about 100 St. Louis-area firefighters in search and rescue operations in Joplin, said that in addition to the 1,500 people who remain unaccounted for, an additional 750 had been injured by the tornado, which cut a three-quarter-mile-wide path through this southwestern Missouri city and damaged as many as 30 percent of its buildings.

The National Weather Service said the tornado that struck the city Sunday evening was an EF5 storm, with winds greater than 200 mph — the most powerful category of tornado.While much of Tuesday provided a respite from the nearly unrelenting rain and wind that had hampered rescue efforts, more challenging weather may be on the way. An unusually strong weather system moving east across the Rockies is expected to mix with moist air heading north from the Gulf of Mexico, carrying with it the possibility of creating severe storms late Tuesday.

“We are expecting some violent storms to develop across Kansas and Oklahoma today bringing rain, hail and the risk of tornadoes that could move into the Joplin area this evening,” said Doug Cramer, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service. “This is a very good set up for very big tornadoes.”

A tornado touched down Tuesday afternoon about two miles north of Canton, Okla., according the National Weather Service. The Associated Press was also reporting Oklahoma City metropolitan area at the start of evening rush hour, damaging homes and injuring a number of people.On Tuesday morning, American flags flew outside many houses in Joplin, including flags that had been draped over sections of ruined homes. When there was not enough structure of a house left behind to support a flag, flags were placed in nearby trees that had somehow managed to retain a few branches.

About one-third of the most heavily damaged sections of the city were cordoned off by the authorities on Tuesday as rescue teams with dogs combed rubble. The doors of houses that had been searched were marked with an “X.” If bodies were found inside, a number was listed under the “X.”

The authorities said they planned to complete a second sweep through the city on Tuesday, methodically examining every structure that had been damaged — at least 2,000.

On Monday, crews pulled seven people out of buildings that had collapsed, officials said. But on Tuesday, some 60 hours after the tornado struck, no survivors had been found.

“We’re hoping to find more folks, that’s why we’re doing these searches,” said Keith Stammer, the Jasper County emergency management director.

Mr. Stammer said the city planned on conducting at least two more rounds of searches, but those would likely not take place until after the storm expected Tuesday evening had passed.

Earlier Tuesday, President Obama, who is on a state trip in Britain, said that he was monitoring the federal response to the tornado and that he planned to visit Missouri on Sunday “to talk with folks who’ve been affected, to talk to local officials about our response effort and hopefully to pray with folks and give them whatever assurance and comfort I can that the entire country is going to be behind them.”

Among the buildings that search and rescue teams were focusing on Tuesday was Hampshire Terrace, a 100-unit apartment complex with about 300 tenants, where the tornado’s fierce winds had ripped off and blown away nearly the entire second story of the two-floor building.

Jessica Blackwood, 22, who had lived in Hampshire Terrace with her 2-year-old son, was not at home when the tornado hit. Her grandmother, who lived in another unit in the complex was also not home and escaped harm. But Ms. Blackwood said she is very worried about her neighbors.

“I keep hearing the count go up and I keep praying it stops,” she said. “I’m so scared one of these times I’m going to hear a name a know.”

Firefighters and cadaver-sniffing dogs have been through the building twice, officials said and have not reported finding bodies or making rescues. On Tuesday, a team of 50 firefighters planned to spend all day long going through the building’s debris.

“It’s absolutely gone. It’s a total loss,” said Rick Plush, president of the building’s management agency, the Heritage Management Corporation, based in Topeka, Kan. “You want to be optimistic, but when you see the level of devastation, you wonder if there aren’t parts of people in the rubble. We are as optimistic as we can be.”

Most of the building’s residents were low- or moderate-income families, including elderly people and families with children, said Amy Thompson, vice president of Heritage Management. About 20 percent of the tenants received federal Section 8 housing vouchers.

The company said that it had set up a special web site and that it had established a special phone number for tenants to call, but that the whereabouts of only seven or eight tenants had been determined so far.

“When something like this happens, people scatter and I think most people are still in survival mode - making sure they have food and a place to live,” Ms. Thompson said. “Hopefully within three or four days, we’ll have heard from a lot more people.

Oklahoma and Kansas:

Severe thunderstorms are exploding across Oklahoma and Kansas this evening. A Particularly Dangerous Situation tornado watch has been issued from southern Kansas and northern Texas.

In Kansas, several supercell thunderstorms have developed with a significant threat for tornadoes, damaging winds and hail. Severe storms are north and east of Wichita.

A large tornado was reported on the ground near Hinton and is tracking north of Oklahoma City, with another one to the south affecting Chickasha and is tracking past Newcastle and Moore and headed toward Northwest Norman.

At least four people are dead with at least eight more suspected dead from the tornadoes in Oklahoma near El Reno and Piedmont. At least 30 homes have been destroyed.

These tornadoes are rain-wrapped, making them hard to see and hear. Do NOT wait to see the the tornado. Take cover if you are near this area.

Numerous damage reports have been swarming in, from downed power lines and trees to cars tossed off roadways. A wind gust of 80 mph was recorded Pratt, Kan. with a 69 mph gust recorded at Tinker Air Force Base.

Baseball to softball-sized hail was reported in Pierceville, Kan. Hail was also reported to cover the ground in Timkin, Kan.

Winds associated with this storm overturned a tractor trailer on I-40.


A band of severe thunderstorms moved just north of I-70. Numerous wind damage reports were associated with this complex of thunderstorms. Another round of severe thunderstorms is expected tonight and may affect the Joplin area.

Tornadoes kill two near Oklahoma City

A deadly string of tornadoes and thunderstorms rampaged Tuesday through central Oklahoma, killing at least two people, injuring many others and destroying homes and vehicles, officials said.

Canadian County Sheriff Randall Edwards told CNN a large tornado that crossed I-40 near El Reno destroyed residences and caused a gas leak at an energy plant west of the state capital.

County Emergency Management Director Jerry Smith told CNN the storm, which eventually moved past Calumet and Edmond, north of Oklahoma City, killed two and caused numerous injuries.

The twister injured motorists on Interstate 40 and U.S. 81, Smith said. Deputies were attending to the injured, and there were reports of property damage in the area.

Another tornado was seen at Chickasha, about 40 miles southwest of Oklahoma City. It later reached Newcastle, closing in on Moore and Norman, suburbs of Oklahoma City.

The National Weather Service warned residents and I-44 drivers to take precautionary action.

"It came right past the store," said Chickasha AutoZone employee Nathaniel Charlton. "They had a little debris thrown across the parking lot. It was on the ground, but it wasn't bad."

Sirens went off about 20 minutes before the storm pushed through, Charlton told CNN.

State officials received reports of damaged businesses in Chickasha.

"This is an extremely dangerous and life-threatening situation," the National Weather Service said.

The weather agency's Storm Prediction Center in Norman was evacuated and employees took shelter as a tornado approached, a spokesman told CNN. Responsibilities were transferred to the U.S. Air Force Global Weather Central at Offutt Air Force Base in Nebraska.

Gov. Mary Fallin said residents should take tornado warnings and reports "very seriously." .

"We're still in the middle of a big storm," she told CNN's John King as strong storms moved across her state Tuesday evening. First responders were heading toward communities that have reported damage to homes, Fallin said.

Tornado warnings were issued in Oklahoma County, Canadian County and Grady County, indicating other twisters had touched down.

CNN Oklahoma City affiliates broadcast images of funnel clouds that were dumping rain as they moved into more populated areas.

More twisters and severe thunderstorms were expected to push through the region and threaten Joplin, Missouri, which was devastated by a tornado on Sunday.

Tornado watches were in effect Tuesday afternoon in Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas.

In anticipation of the severe weather, American Airlines canceled 126 arriving and departing flights at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, spokesman Ed Martelle told CNN.

Operations were suspended late Tuesday afternoon at Will Rogers World Airport in Oklahoma City.

A "particularly dangerous situation" tornado watch was issued for a large part of Oklahoma and northern Texas until 10 p.m. CT. This includes Oklahoma City and portions of the Dallas/Fort Worth metro area, according to CNN meteorologist Dave Hennen.

The Storm Prediction Center said the high-risk area for severe storms includes southern Kansas, most of Oklahoma and southward into Texas.

Surrounding the high-risk area is a large "moderate"-risk area where tornadoes are possible. This includes the cities of Dallas; Kansas City, Missouri; Springfield, Missouri; and Joplin.

The worst for Joplin is expected to be between 8 p.m. and midnight. Tornadoes, large hail and damaging winds are possible, according to Hennen.

The tornado threat will slowly diminish late Tuesday evening and overnight, but isolated tornadoes, large hail and damaging straight-line (non-tornado-type) winds will continue.

The tornado that struck Joplin on Sunday killed at least 118 people, authorities said Tuesday, making it the deadliest single U.S. tornado since modern record-keeping began more than 60 years ago.

Tornadoes Kill At Least 7 In Canadian, Cleveland Counties:

OKLAHOMA CITY -- The number of people killed by Tuesday's severe weather in central Oklahoma is rising.

Authorities reported at least four people died in Canadian County when tornadoes swept through. The death toll is between three and five in Cleveland County.

Storm Photos 5/24/11

Dozens of tornadoes popped up across the state Tuesday afternoon, living long lines of destruction across the state.

The News 9 Weather Team began warning people Monday that the severe weather risk would be high May 24, and urged people to prepare themselves.

In just under three hours, News 9 Storm Trackers spotted twisters in Piedmont, Guthrie, Newcastle, Chickasha, Stillwater, El Reno, Hinton, Moore, Norman and Fairview.

It is not work that kills men, it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more on a man than he can bear. But worry is rust upon the blade. It is not movement that destroys the machinery, but friction. ~-Henry Ward Beecher

Monday, May 23, 2011

American Armageddon

I have no idea what is happening in the United States, but something is. It is as though the nation is being torn apart, piece by piece. Watching the floods in Louisiana engulfing homes and leaving thousands homeless is like watching disaster in slow motion, and it's mortifying - but to add tornadoes to the mix makes it beyond unbearable.

Dozens are dead and even more injured after nearly 50 tornadoes tore though parts of the Midwest on Sunday.

At least 89 people were killed in Joplin, Mo., which received the worst of the severe weather.

If the death toll in Joplin reaches 115, it will be in the top 10 deadliest tornadoes in all time, none of which have occurred since 1953 according to the Storm Prediction Center.

This story will be continually updated throughout the day as more information becomes available.

More Severe Weather Expected Today

The area will have little time to clean up as another round of severe weather is expected again today.

Radar shows a complex of thunderstorms bearing down on the Joplin area at the present time.

1 inch diameter hail was just reported in the vicinity of Joplin Municipal Airport along with wind gusts to near 40 mph.

Torrential downpours and frequent lightning associated with these thunderstorms will interfere with cleanup efforts. Localized flash flooding is likely as the ground is already saturated due to above normal rainfall the last two months.

High winds could cause additional damage and may topple cranes which are in the city helping with the cleanup.

A 62 mph wind gust was reported in Coffeyville, Kan. about 65 miles west of Joplin as these thunderstorms rolled through.

Widespread Destruction From Yesterday's Tornado

Damage was widespread across the city as homes, schools and a hospital were hit by a massive tornado.

According to AccuWeather.com Senior Meteorologist Alan Reppert, x-ray films from the hospital were found 70 miles away in a driveway.

Meanwhile, school has already been canceled on Monday with one of the Joplin School District's buildings receiving catastrophic damage.

Many of the dead were residents looking to seek shelter when the buildings they were in collapsed.

The tornado traveled 6 miles from the west side of the city to the southeast portion. The southern edge of the city was the hardest hit. The tornado ranged from half a mile to three-quarters of a mile wide. While the exact strength of the storm is yet to be determined, it could be upwards of an EF4.

According to Kathy Dennis of the American Red Cross, "75% of the town is virtually gone."

Scenes from the city look much like those of the tornadoes that claimed more than 300 lives in the Southeast last month.

Throughout the city, roads are littered with downed trees and buildings, making them nearly impassable. Interstate 44 also had significant damage as 20 cars and tractor-trailers were overturned.

According to the Associated Press, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon has declared a state of emergency and activated the National Guard, while emergency crews were conducting search and rescue operations.

The number of dead is expected to rise as the crews sort through the rubble.

These storms are part of a larger system that triggered severe weather that killed one person in Kansas on Saturday night and caused damage from Minnesota to Texas on Sunday.

At least one person was killed and 29 injured in storms that hit Minneapolis, Minn. Meanwhile, La Crosse, Wis., was also hit hard as winds tore roofs off homes and trapped residents inside.

As I listen to the news my heart literally sinks. My youngest daughter lives very close to Joplin, and I have friends in the area accounted for. You feel so helpless, but I told my daughter that if she could get in with a trailer under the guidance of a rescue group I would finance her efforts. At times like this you just don't know what else to do .... beside pray with diligence, and cry for and with those whose lives are irreversibly shattered.

Reality is the leading cause of stress for those who are in touch with it. ~ Lily Tomlin

Sunday, May 22, 2011

May 21st, 6 pm.

May 21st came and went and must have left an awfully disappointed group of Harold Camping followers in it's wake.

I'd be tickled pink if the rapture happened right now, yesterday, last week. I wouldn't have to worry about a home, or family or the future. I have everything to gain and nothing to lose. But it simply breaks my heart to see so many people being conned.

Harold Camping Followers Homeless?

Silence follows the day after the proposed Judgment Day on May 21, 2011 as the prediction made by Harold Camping proves to be incorrect. Frustrated followers and dissenters are now unable to access the Family Radio website because it keeps crashing.

People left jobs, spent their money and took off across the country to pass out doomsday literature for Harold Camping's family radio. Now that May 21, 2011 has passed uneventfully, what will it mean for his followers?

According to Mercury News, Rev. Jeremy Nickel of the Fremont Mission Peak Unitarian Congregation said, “For those who were invested in this prediction, their world did end Saturday. They thought they were going to heaven and they didn't. They may have donated all their money. They're going to be in a world of hurt.”

On Saturday, prerecorded gospel talk continued while the Family Radio website was down. Over the last seven years, over $100 million was donated to Family Radio. The Oakland-based Family Radio has 66 stations across the world. Harold Camping's home in Alameda was deserted and there was no answer on his phone.

As followers realized they were not going to experience the rapture, others were mocking the concept. The American Atheists convention consisting of about 200 people met in downtown Oakland on the proposed Judgment Day.

While some people mocked the possibility of doomsday, others offered a helping hand to the disappointed followers who might be upset the prophesy was not fulfilled.
The Calvary Bible Church of Mipitas offered support to Camping's followers. According to the Sacramento Bee, Pastor Jacob Denys indicated the church wanted to reach out to Camping's followers to deliver a message of hope and said, "Do not despair. You are not alone. we offer you help and Biblical counsel."

Various spiritual leaders of all denominations agreed no man know when the end will come and people are expected to be prepared everyday by doing good things and living a positive life.

Has the prediction of Judgment Day done more harm than good? Being positive means looking for the good in any situation. The Christian Post reports Dr. Barry Levanthal, provost and professor at Southern Evangelical Seminary, said, “Maybe at least people have thought about the second coming of Christ. God can bring good out of evil, and bring correct direction out of incorrect thinking.”

The professor encouraged believers to follow the Word of God rather than “another person's experience.” He added, “If God is going to lead us to some kind of inner leading, it will never be opposite to what the Word of God is.”

Eric Thomas, professor of biblical studies and theology at Talbot and Biola University, stated, “We need to go to clear teaching to find answers instead of making a side show out of biblical teaching in such an overly detailed and alarmist way that it is so unhelpful. I don’t see any good coming from distorting Scripture. It’s tragic to me. Sadly, Christians should be the ones with the most settled confidence in the face of potential problems but we can be the biggest alarmists and conspiracy theorists.”
Harold Camping incorrectly predicted Judgment Day in 1994. While his second prediction fell flat, people are still considering the possible end of the world. The next doomsday prediction, based on the Mayan calendar, is December 21, 2012.

Christian doomsday prophet Harold Camping had predicted the world would end at 6pm on Saturday

Christian doomsday prophet Harold Camping looks likely to be less than rapturous after his prediction that the world would end on Saturday failed to materialise.

The 89-year-old Californian preacher had prophesied that the Ra
pture would begin at 6pm in each of the world's time zones, with those "saved" by Jesus ascending to heaven and the non-believers being wiped out by an earthquake rolling from city to city across the planet.

But as the deadline for the Apocalypse passed in the Pacific islands, New Zealand and Australia, it became apparent that Camping's prediction of the end of the world was to end not with a bang but with a whimper.

Only on Twitter did the supposed Armageddon sweep the world, with users expressing their mock disappointment at the lack of dead people rising from their graves.

New Zealander Daniel Boerman tweeted: "I'm from New Zealand, it is 6:06PM, the world has NOT ended. No earthquakes here, all waiting for the rapture can relax for now. #Rapture"

In Australia, Jon Gall of Melbourne was unimpressed by the lack of fire and brimstone. He tweeted: "#Rapture time here in Melbourne. A rather quiet sort of rapture if you ask me.

"Well we have had the #Rapture going for 50 minutes now. So far it hasn't interrupted my fish & chips and glass of stout."

In Brisbane, KillaJeules, was similarly disappointed by the lack of a Hollywood blockbuster ending: "So it's 6:37pm here in Brisbane, Australia. No earthquakes. No bea
ming up of Christians. No zombie apocalypse. No surprises haha."

Camping, a retired civil engineer, has built a multimillion-dollar, non-profit ministry based on his apocalyptic predictions. He previously predicted that the world would end in 1994. It is difficult to know how many of his followers took his latest prophecy seriously, though his Family Radio Worldwide reaches millions of listeners in the US and around the world.

Some have reportedly sold all their possessions and taken to the streets to warn people to prepare for the second coming of Jesus. In recent weeks, callers to Christian radio stations in the US have debated what to do about non-believing friends and neighbours who will be left behind to endure the wrath of God.

But it looks like it will be atheists and other skeptics celebrating this weekend, with tongue-in-cheek doomsday parties planned across the US.

TV scientist Professor Brian Cox summed up the mood of the non-believers. He tweeted: "I think we should all pretend the #rapture is happening so that when Harold Camping gets left behind later today he'll be livid."

But Kieran Healy had a slightly more comforting message for those disappointed at not joining Jesus: "I guess on Sunday when the #Rapture people feel really upset, we can't console them by saying 'Cheer up, it's not the end of the world.'"

I managed to plant some more green beans and peas yesterday, but I have been so ill, stressed beyond my capability to handle it, that writing anything meaningful has been beyond me.

Mark 13:32; "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."
Acts 1:7; "He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.
Matthew 24:36; "But of that day and hour knows no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only."

Friday, May 20, 2011

Wild Weather In The Wild West

I doubt that anyone knows what is going on with this strange weather pattern. Yesterday high winds and cold temperatures arrived here in Ruidoso, but northern New Mexico got snow. A lot of snow.
I managed to work in the garden for a few hours in high winds, but I was so terribly ill I eventually gave up and went to bed very early.

The payment of $450 for the month of May, that is the minimum amount that will keep Robert Huckins out of jail, arrived yesterday. The toll of trying to get the single wide and barn renovated is really wearing in me and I don't know what the answer is.
In 2010 I spent almost $9,000 trying to get into a home and I am no further forward, the only thing I seem to have managed to do is become emotionally drained and so very ill.

Harold Camping and his group are causing quite a stir world-wide and I sit bewildered at how many people can so easily drain their lifesaving and relinquish their homes. What heartbreak this is going to bring. They have no idea what hardships they will face when they try to recover from such a loss in this deep a recession. No idea whatsoever.

This seems like one disaster after another and the horse industry seems to be taking a beating unto itself, now with a EHV-1 outbreak.
At the Lazy J everything was under lock-down preventing horses from going in or out of the facility. As I sat inside Jan's home discussing this shocking disease I couldn't help but wonder what it was like to have a home, somewhere to cook, a safe haven when life starts beating you. I feel so lost and confused.
Events have been canceled though I have no idea what preventative measure Ruidoso Downs has taken.

A outbreak of equine herpes in at least six Western U.S. states has forced the cancellation of scores of horse events, just as the prime season for riding shows, sales and rodeos is getting under way.

Cutting-horse competitions scheduled for this coming weekend in nine states have been canceled; Washington State and Colorado State universities have quarantined their veterinary teaching hospitals; and two equestrian reining and jumping clinics in Colorado have been called off.

Utah state veterinarian Bruce King said Tuesday that he is recommending "that all events involving horses, mules and burros be canceled in Utah."

"People in the horse world are freaked," said one industry insider who spoke on condition of anonymity. "If horse sales don't come off and other shows lose an entire season, it will have a huge economic impact and could destroy some people financially."

Equine herpes virus (EHV-1) is a highly contagious disease that is spread through nasal secretions by nose-to-nose contact when horses nuzzle each other, according to Colorado State University's college of veterinary medicine. It is potentially fatal to horses.

Horses cannot infect humans, but people can transmit the virus between animals through contaminated tack and clothing.

Symptoms of the virus include hind-leg weakness, decreased coordination, nasal discharge and fever. Severely infected horses that can no longer stand are euthanized.

While not requiring its members and affiliates to cancel all shows, the National Cutting Horse Association struck a cautionary tone after veterinarians traced the outbreak to the organization's national championships in Ogden, Utah, earlier this month.

"We do strongly urge all show producers to consider the possible horse health risks of conducting an event this weekend," the Fort Worth, Texas-based association said on its website.

While the numbers of infected or exposed horses is unclear, in Colorado two horses that attended the Utah event were confirmed to have the virus, and six others are displaying clinical signs of the disease, the Colorado Department of Agriculture said in a news release.

The two infected horses were euthanized.

The California Department of Food and Agriculture said 10 horses in the state were found to have the virus, and all of them attended the Utah event. One horse was euthanized after displaying severe neurological symptoms, officials said.

Other suspected cases have been reported in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, and Washington.

"Anytime you have a contagious disease that can cause death in valuable horses, it's a serious issue for breeders," Carl Heckendorf, a Colorado state veterinarian, told Reuters.

Heckendorf said some animals respond to anti-viral drugs but some do not. It is recommended that riders and handlers thoroughly wash clothing and gear after coming in contact with horses. He also urged that horses exposed to large equine gatherings be kept isolated and under observation afterward for a period of time.

Abby Yigzaw, spokeswoman for the U.S. Department of Agriculture, said the agency is compiling a database of infected animals to aid state health officials as they combat the outbreak.

Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you reach your destiny. ~ Carl Schurz

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Very English Nervous Breakdown

I have been so ill that writing the blog wasn't possible yesterday evening. A milder than usual migraine impaired my vision throughout the day. In the middle of the night both of my hands started to hurt, as though the blood flow was being restricted. A heavy hurt, both hands turning to lead with the left hand far worse than the right. By turning onto my side I seemed to alleviate the pain and eventually fell asleep.

Every attempt to get back to that single wide and barn was thwarted by another impending family emergency, or these continual migraines. I have long since realized that I may have to by-pass depression and go in for a full fledged nervous breakdown before this is all over. There is a level of desperation I cannot even find words to describe. Mid-may and I am no further forward in obtaining a home before winter.

This morning the wind started up again, and the weather turned cooler as the mountains became overcast.

Rio started acting as though all hell was breaking lose, so I wondered out of the shed to see what was upsetting her so. Two stray dogs. Two stray dogs trying to kill Bandit, my cat. Both were absolutely adorable dogs, but "Rambo" decided that he wanted a feline brunch and with Bandit perched up a 30ft pine tree nothing would dissuade the dogs.

Rambo and his malamute hybrid sidekick then went in the shed chasing Wally, and that set off a chaotic mess with Rio trying to protect her territory and Wally crawling the walls trying to get away from the dogs.

I called the number on the tags.. an 813 area code..no response. An hour later I phoned again. No response. Still Bandit perched high above the ground knowing his fate if he dare try to come down. Wally disappeared without a trace and Rio sat growling and barking furiously.

The chaos doesn't seem to want to end.

Finally a neighbor told me that the owners lives in this area, and another neighbor took it upon herself to call the sheriff's department and have the dogs picked up. It saddened me because given time we may have been able to locate the owners of two very nice dogs.. who simply didn't like cats. I'll never really understand people.. but there again I love all animals.

As of today the $450 Robert Huckins has to pay before the 10th of each month has not arrived. Even when it does I will be painfully short in paying the cost to get electricity onto that land. A nervous breakdown seems well overdue.. a very English nervous breakdown.

Look to your health -- and value it next to a good conscience; for health is ... a blessing that money cannot buy.~ Izaak Walton

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie

Last night I remained so ill, as the migraine pounded on my head, I could not sleep at all, and today I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. Yet my attention was focused on Louisiana and the heartbreak waiting in store.

Today as they opened the floodgate I couldn't help but think back to the early 70's - and to Don McLean and his timelessly classical song, "Bye bye, Miss American Pie."
Bye, bye Miss American Pie,
Drove my Chevy to the levee

But the levee was dry

Those good ol' boys drinkin' whisky & rye

Singing, "this'll be the day that I die.

This'll be the day that I die."
About 25,000 people and 11,000 structures could be affected by the oncoming water, and some people living in the threatened stretch of countryside — an area known for fish camps and a drawling French dialect — have already fled.

I can only imagine the absolute despair those poor people feel, and wonder how quickly they can recover from total devastation. It isn't easy. People don't realize the hardships they will face, especially those incapable of re-financing, re-building, re-constructing their lives.
I feel overwhelming sadness for people I don't know, will never meet - but I understand their dilemma, and I weep with them and for them.

The second verse of Bye, bye Miss American Pie moves the singer from the 50's of his youth to faith, and concludes with a picture of lost innocent.

In the 5th verse we find,

Oh, there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
2011 seems to have been such a traumatic year as we keep seeing disaster after disaster destroy the lives of so many people. I would like some of that innocence back. Not only for myself, but for all the baby boomers who have seen their lives twisted into tragedies. Most of us just want to do it all over again - but different.

Praying that far more will be spared loss of their homes than we expected, with zero loss of life. Praying for those who may lose their homes tonight. Praying for peace, comfort and understanding people to help them pick up the pieces that will be shattered.

To be a good human being is to have a kind of openness to the world, an ability to trust uncertain things beyond your own control, that can lead you to be shattered in very extreme circumstances for which you were not to blame. That says something very important about the condition of the ethical life: that it is based on a trust in the uncertain and on a willingness to be exposed; it's based on being more like a plant than like a jewel, something rather fragile, but whose very particular beauty is inseparable from that fragility.~ Martha Nussbaum

Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday The 13th

Judas, the apostle who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th person to arrive at dinner, making 13 an unlucky number on any day of the week. Add to that the fact that Jesus died on a Friday, and Friday the 13th gets its bad rap.

Friday is named for Frigga, the free-spirited goddess of love and fertility. When Norse and Germanic tribes converted to Christianity, Frigga was banished in shame to a mountaintop and labeled a witch. It was believed that every Friday, the spiteful goddess convened a meeting with eleven other witches, plus the devil — a gathering of thirteen — and plotted ill turns of fate for the coming week. For many centuries in Scandinavia, Friday was known as ' Witches ' Sabbath

Perhaps that is why the *Blogger went off-line for 24 hours and pages have disappeared.

Yesterday it was 2 pm before the migraine had eased up enough for me to have clear vision. I have often wondered what people must think when they are trying to talk to someone - while they are fighting a violent migraine. Your speech becomes animated, you don't want to speak at all, so in my case I try to over compensate - often speaking faster. All the time you are trying to focus, trying to stop from feeling nauseated, trying to cope with the constant pounding in your head and eyes.

From 4 pm until 10.30 pm the migraine .... just left. There was no reason why, it's thoroughly unexplainable why I can't control what seemingly should be controllable.

At the Lazy J yesterday evening Jan and I sat discussing the electricity to my land. I kept explaining that I could not afford the amount Otero County Electric Co-op requested if I had just one meter. They wanted twice as much as the $3,000 I had. So I had signed contract with Otero to install the electricity for $3,000 with an agreement that I would have two meters. One on the barn and one on the well.
So I would assume that I would need two poles.
Jan asked me why I couldn't go underground, but I couldn't answer that. I only knew that I had been told that I needed two poles.
She asked me how tall the poles needed to be. I didn't know that either.

Finally she told me that what I was saying didn't make sense. It doesn't make much sense to me anymore, which is why I'm not a contractor. I only know that I need to get electricity to that land and I don't have a clue how to do it. Here I am in the 4th year and still struggling to get something as simplistic as electricity to the land.

By nightfall I had stressed out so much about trying to get the electricity I was back to trying to feeling deathly ill, and eventually the infamous migraine returned in full force. I slept less than 2 hours last night as the anxiety rose and the pain increased.

The weather is fabulous. One couldn't wish for more beautiful weather and if I could only get some help I just may be able to be in a home before winter, yet it's like playing a cruel game of two steps forward and eight steps back.

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. ~Theodore Roosevelt

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Life Not Worth Having

Last night was another awful night. The wind will not die down and this migraine will not leave either. After taking as much pain medication as I safely could I fell asleep, only to wake up again in the middle of the night with my head pounding so bad I wanted to pull my eyes out to stop the pain.
By 7 am I was well enough to sit up and had regained partial vision, but still felt deathly ill. The wind continued to beat against this shed, tree limbs broke off and fell to the ground. It's so dark and cold in this shed and the constant winds seem to activate the mold that is in the walls and foundation.

Three years of these types of migraines is three years too long for any human being. Physically, emotionally, psychologically it's overwhelming.

I used to think that if I could just get through the criminal court case the migraines would go, the extreme stress would be gone. But that didn't happen. A year later I still can't find any relief. The pain can get so bad it can take your breath away and send you in spasms.

I so need to get that single wide and barn finished. I've got to find a way out of this shed.. but I am so deathly ill and stressed with no idea how to do what is needed without any help.

The whole course of human history may depend on a change of heart in one solitary and even humble individual - for it is in the solitary mind and soul of the individual that the battle between good and evil is waged and ultimately won or lost. ~ M. Scott Peck