Sunday, November 13, 2011
Sadness Blew In
When I woke up it certainly wasn't as cold today as I had been expecting, so I started to wonder where the storm has gone to. And I was enthusiastically counting my blessings that it wasn't here. Until I walked outside and looked over the Sierra Blanca.. and there it was coming over the mountain peak in fury.
Before noon the wind was beating the shed so much dust was flying around in the air - inside the shed, not only outside. 45-50 mph winds really feels like a tornado inside this shed.
The orange hoodie was washed yesterday and it became an invaluable asset this windy day. I should have purchased two of them. This one is already dirty after 24 hours. Wearing the same thing 24/7 trying to keep warm is getting a little old.
It's days like today that make homelessness come crashing down like a ton of bricks. I have had such a difficult time trying to stop myself from crying heartbroken.
Sometimes you feel so lost, confused, terrified, depressed, frustrated, sad, helpless and a myriad of other emotions - none of which are good. The weather is too bad to do anything, you desperately want the comfort of the home you have bought and paid for... but you are stuck inside a tiny shed in deplorable conditions.
And nothing you do changes it. You have become an invisible person and all the hurts you may feel amount to nothing.
I know that most people spend Sunday in the comfort of their home, with family and friends. I miss that life. I miss being able to have time to relax in my own surroundings. I miss my family visiting. I miss my life.
Only those who have been subjected to long term homelessness, and so many false hopes and shattered dreams, understand how hard it is to keep going. It shouldn't be a level of torture victims of crime are subjected to.
The feral horses never did return to the corral, there again the mule deer have not been here today either so all of the animals may have gone looking for valleys to graze in, out of this wind. I managed to take a few photo's before they wondered away.
Prayerfully this weather will go away during tonight and tomorrow will be a lot better.
Someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Liam Griffin, Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins. I, like those victims who came before me, have been dragged through a living hell and I simply beg for your mercy. I can't obtain a home until Robert Huckins returns the money he stole from us that was to buy a home. Had he given the money back when he promised the white collar crime investigators I wouldn't be making this plea today. Had he never stolen any money I wouldn't be making this plea today. But he pushes the abuse and torment to an extent where no alternatives are offered. I am homeless and I want to see my mum and return to my career, so I won't stop asking if I have to ask every single day until I die. Robert Huckins gave no-one an alternative, so I plead with sincerity for your mercy. It cost me $140,000 to have NO home - be homeless - just to satisfy the greed and criminal behavior of Robert Huckins..
Today Robert Huckins has his own home...
He also has OUR home.....
He also has a lot of people's money...
And his freedom.
I have NOTHING but the continual cruelty and torment of being homeless.
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~The Dalai Lama