Thursday, May 12, 2011

Life Not Worth Having

Last night was another awful night. The wind will not die down and this migraine will not leave either. After taking as much pain medication as I safely could I fell asleep, only to wake up again in the middle of the night with my head pounding so bad I wanted to pull my eyes out to stop the pain.
By 7 am I was well enough to sit up and had regained partial vision, but still felt deathly ill. The wind continued to beat against this shed, tree limbs broke off and fell to the ground. It's so dark and cold in this shed and the constant winds seem to activate the mold that is in the walls and foundation.

Three years of these types of migraines is three years too long for any human being. Physically, emotionally, psychologically it's overwhelming.

I used to think that if I could just get through the criminal court case the migraines would go, the extreme stress would be gone. But that didn't happen. A year later I still can't find any relief. The pain can get so bad it can take your breath away and send you in spasms.

I so need to get that single wide and barn finished. I've got to find a way out of this shed.. but I am so deathly ill and stressed with no idea how to do what is needed without any help.

The whole course of human history may depend on a change of heart in one solitary and even humble individual - for it is in the solitary mind and soul of the individual that the battle between good and evil is waged and ultimately won or lost. ~ M. Scott Peck