I woke up at 2.30 am so damp and cold I could barely move, my spine and hips and ankles causing me excruciating pain. And the pain setting off a migraine headache.
There has still been no word if we can finish renovating the trailer so I can have a decent home to live in quickly.
I spoke to John, who said that he was coming to Ruidoso this coming week-end but I forgot to ask him if he intended to help me. With the Cowboy Symposium a strong distraction I am biting my nails fearing that I won't get any help this week.
Please, God, let him help me at least undo the damage in the barn and set the poles ready for the roof to be put on. Start to pull out the cupboards in the kitchen nook. Do ANYTHING that we can legally do to circumvent this New Mexico Construction Industries Division block on renovating the trailer which will get me closer to moving onto that land and into a home.
On Tuesday I telephoned the New Mexico Conference of the United Methodist Church to see if Diana Lippett had spoken to the bishop, as promised.
She had, and she apologetically explained that the Methodist church was not responsible for what lay-people, with official positions within the emergency services of the church do or say no matter what the damage sustained.
This lady has been so wonderful I didn't want to even start asking questions knowing that she was merely a secretary betwixt a rock and a hard place, but I found myself asking perhaps the most important question: "Has not one person ever spoken to this woman and asked for the source of her information?"
I think I am perfectly aware of "whom" started this wildfire of lies and deception that was intended to cause confusion. But I need verification to stop it from causing me further damage, because this is causing serious long term damage.
The media think that I will never get anyone to tell "truth" and I'm wondering why "truth" should be something so difficult to get from people of faith whose foundation stone is truth itself.
I have managed to handle this situation with calmness and understanding for all concerned for almost a year. No-one should have to beg for a year for something as simple as truth. The Methodist counsel have twice told me to seek legal counsel, but to seek legal counsel means to walk into MORE drama, and drama is what I have been trying to evade.
You have to hire a lawyer and proceed with legal action to force a CHRISTIAN to tell truth? What kind of nonsense is that?
The head of the Methodist Church for this district hangs the phone up when I ask him to find out where this information came from - when I request accountability - what kind of behavior is that?
And when the truth was revealed 7 or so months ago and both Senator Rod Adair and Pastor Todd Sazwedel read the e-mail that lied about them, and was directly defamatory against myself, why was an apology & correction from the Methodist Convention not forthcoming?
No Christian should be allowed to cause this degree of damage by spreading unsubstantiated lies and fabrications without accountability from someone within the denomination they represent, especially when they are in a leadership position in a ministry designed to help others. If they didn't manufacture the lies, but obtained the information from another person, they should be asked to reveal that source.
Ever since Robert Huckins stole the building fund not once has this group of Christians who say they are here to help, offered to help. But a conscious effort was made by at least one person who has contact with the group to make sure that no-one helped. That fact bothers me less than the degree of fabrication that was sent forth to make sure that my name was blemished, and my honesty put in question. The honesty of a pastor and state senator was likewise put in question but not with as damaging results.
If you are going to send bold faced defamatory lies about three separate individuals it would seem unwise to do so within a written e-mail sent to a different pastor within the same denomination.
So I am going to take this opportunity to ask yet again, Shirley, WHOM was your "source?" Part of the e-mail you sent out that contained not one iota of truth is being repeated by other business people in Ruidoso and it is causing serious damage. It is time to stop playing games with peoples lives and reputations.
There is a whole world of difference between refusing to help a person, because that is a right, and spreading libel, because that is a wrong, on so many levels. People cannot fabricate stories, downright lie ~ relate fiction as facts. It's inhumane and what is to be gained by it? Isn't there enough pain and suffering ~ and stress~ in this situation without adding to it by repeating whatever gossip your source "in the know" wanted to fabricate?
The Ruidoso News had already done so many articles unsuccessfully begging for help for me, you can't take away from me what was never offered. The ONLY thing that can be accomplished is to spread malicious gossip that holds no truth. But what is there to gain from that?
If one church starts saying, to anyone, that I have utilities on the land everyone will believe it. They won't contact Otero County Electric Co-Op to verify it. They won't contact Jesse Gordiola, who has complained from day one that we didn't have electricity. No electricity means no water. But you claim that your source 'was in the know. " If he/she was in the know why am I experiencing such difficulty getting utilities onto that land? I should be able to go and simply turn on a switch and it will all work.
If a church starts telling, anyone, that I asked for help building a home THAT is what will be believed. I never asked that. I BEGGED three years ago for help getting a roof on that barn because I thought that I could build a house working inside out. At the b-b-q held by Cheryl and Pete I said ~ loud and clear ~ that I would have been happy with a shed if I could just get the help I needed to make it liveable. And not one person around me heard anything different. If your source is "in the know" they should at least "know that!"
The person you claim is "in the medical field" wouldn't know a medical degree if it slapped them in the face. I have more of a medical degree than they do. And yes, they did appear like an angel of light but they caused more chaos and turmoil than I have ever seen before because they kept spinning yarns. I caught on very quickly as did others. And I tried to distance myself from it. I had too much on my hands with investigations and court trials to get pulled into the nonsense fabricated by a bored person who doesn't know what else to do but manufacture drama for their own amusement. This isn't a game. This isn't a mini soap opera to pre-occupy someone who can't keep out of anyone's business. This isn't funny. This is simply devastating.
If the church starts saying that Senator Rod Adair and Pastor Todd Sazwedel have been in contact with one another those who hear it will believe it because it came through you, and you claim that your source was "in the know." I walked up to Senator Adair in the Spencer Theater and almost accused HIM of doing this. A man who had done everything possible to help me, who has gone beyond a humanitarian duty - and I believed your e-mail because it came from someone "in the know."
Nothing but fabricated lies.. nothing but fiction. Not an ounce of truth in an entire e-mail. Few events have knocked me off balance as that e-mail did. I went from hanging on for dear life to suicidal within hours. Because I now not only had the judicial system, homelessness, my mother, my career, a career criminal, a missing building fund and investigation I was having to do myself compounded by someone within the church bold faced lying.... making sure that no-one would help me.
The entire e-mail is so ludicrous it's hard to go thorough every point but I will happily publish it and my responses, but when I asked "whom" this person is who is "in the know" the reaction is amazing. The "facts" could have been ascertained easily enough. The Ruidoso News newspaper was "in the know" and Todd Sazwedel was "in the know" for I had sent him an e-mail some months prior. But those sources were by-passed and we have this unknown figure who has neither a name nor a face who is "in the know" even though the repeat fabricated nonsense.
I am still asking WHOM would do this? Whom would stoop so low when someone is already battling so much heartbreak, hardship and insurmountable adversity?
I am sat right next door to the Presbyterian pastor who looks the opposite way each and every time I drive out of the yard. I have been adjacent to this pastor through some bitter winters. For a time period the pastor of the First Baptist church and his family stayed at the neighbor at the other side. I was sat directly between TWO of the leading pastors in this community. Yet not one would help. In fact, not once did they even inquire if I needed anything. Not even when there was 4 ft of snow outside.
Almost a month ago pastor Todd Sazwedel told me, in a phone conversation, "My heart bleeds for you." I actually like Todd and consider him an honest and honorable brother in Christ. But a month later my heart bleeds for this group who consider themselves doing the will of God when you can't even get truth from those who claim Christ.
And time was going to reveal even more, above, beyond and unrelated to my own situation...
Group responds to scandal
Ministerial alliance addresses possible misuse of funds
In view of a New Mexico State Police investigation into possible misuse of money by one of their peers, members of the Lincoln County Mescalero Ministerial Alliance reacted quickly to improve their controls and to reassure the public.
This week, they prepared the following statement:
"The local Christian community is remarkable. Where, in other areas, each church fellowship strives to accomplish alone that which our Lord calls us to fulfill, Lincoln County and Mescalero Christian churches work together. Each involved church has chosen to lay aside their specific differences to create an atmosphere of cooperation and trust.
"This faith-based community of many Christian groups has joined together many times in benefiting Mescalero and Lincoln County.
"Recently, the Lincoln County Mescalero Ministerial Alliance has discovered mishandling of funds by an individual in our group. We realize these funds were generated in trust by our community. Measures have been taken to ensure that this matter is being handled in the best, most expedient manner possible so that any issue of this type will never happen again.
"This issue has not create a distraction from the Ministerial Alliance's main goal, that of being available to assist those in need.
"Typically, the Ministerial Alliance takes the responsibility of managing housing, meals and transportation for those who travel through Lincoln County and need assistance. At no time has this goal been abandoned during this incident. Regardless of this or any circumstances, the Ministerial Alliance is determined to stand as one.
"The Ministerial Alliance is one arm of the Christian community of Lincoln County and Mescalero. Several events in the last few years exemplify the desire of Christians throughout this area to work as one fellowship. From working to beautify public areas to rebuilding homes, from providing free auto oil-changes to refurbishing community parks, the Christian community stands together.
"Simply put, the Lincoln County/Mescalero Christian community wants to look like Jesus to those in our area who are hurting, need comfort or need care. Our community has not wavered, our desire to do what's right has not fallen and we will continue to make a difference in our area communities.
"The Lincoln County Mescalero Ministerial Alliance is determined to continue our efforts in a dependable and trustworthy manner. We will act truthfully and honestly in every area of our lives We anticipate even greater effectiveness as we stand as one in Lincoln County and Mescalero.
The Ruidoso News will have more on this developing story as public documents become available.
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Oct 4th, 2010.. Charles Clary, Pastor of the J Bar J Country Church in Ruidoso, was asked to lead a committee ... the Anglican Church of the Savior in Ruidoso and Todd Salzwedel, pastor of Community United Methodist Church in Ruidoso...