It was a long, restless night and I woke up physically and emotionally drained.
No human being wants this lifestyle, homelessness is so incredibly cruel and inhumane, but when I saw the motto the protestors were using it so fit the life of a homeless person on New Years Day. "The Future Awaits, The Struggle Continues."I rarely make New Years Resolutions, but this year I decided to do just that.
1) This year I am not going to worry myself ill trying to get the utilities onto the land, or trying to renovate what is clearly a lost cause. This doesn't mean that I am not going to try with every ounce of my being to get a home in 2012.
I simply have to find a way to stop the stress and disappointments making me so terribly ill.
2) I keep bumping into Patrica Ogilvie-Huckins in stores and she keeps smiling at me each time she see's me. She did exactly the same in the court room.
I can't read someone's heart so I have no idea why she smiles at me. Homelessness isn't an easy row to hoe. Anyone looking at me can see that this is killing me.
Patrica Ogilvie-Huckins is a little younger than my mother but in far healthier shape, and clearly she is used to the type of grooming and haute couture one wouldn't find in the average blue collar family as ours.
Robert Huckins is my age, but in far healthier shape because he has never been homeless.
Whether right or wrong I take the "smiles" as "smirks" leaving me wondering if she is laughing at us. But I'm wrong doing that because I am using my own family to meter the responses of others.
My mother is about the most honorable woman anyone could wish to meet. There is nothing pretentious about her. I fear God, but I feared my mother a whole lot for she expected, no, she demands honesty and honor ability.
Had I stolen as much as a dollar from one woman, let alone devastated so many women by deliberately victimizing them, she would have beaten me within an inch of my life.
Had my own children set about this path I would have put a stop to it even had I begged the judges to incarcerate them before others were damaged. I would have been simply besides myself, and I wouldn't have allowed any women to be homeless. The victims would have had a profound apology and assistance re-building their lives.
I have never received one iota of an apology.
Because I know what myself, my mother and my own children would do I tend to accept the smiles from Patricia Ogilvia-Huckins as a serious negative. That she is mocking our horrendous dilemma. Or if she knows where all the stolen money is ~ because it clearly has not been spent.
But I have to learn not to pass such judgment because it upsets me so much, and it's wrong. I can't read someone's hearts even if the fruit seems to bear witness. She may be thoroughly innocent of anything except what I think I see.
3) In 2012 I am going to try and restore some hope. After you have spent two years in a criminal court case, and 2 additional years after a guilty plea has been filed you have normally tried everything humanly possible to get into a home. I know that I certainly have. But each attempt is thwarted by the obvious... you can't restore the stolen money and homes cost money.
A point comes when you emotionally give up even while still going through the motions. You have experienced so much brokenness you dare not hope any more. This year I am going to try and regain a guarded belief that it can be done and will be done. Guarded fearing more disappointment.
4) I am going to remind myself each waking hour how blessed I am to know Jesus.
Jehovah Rohi is one of God’s revealed names (Psalm 23:1). By sharing Jehovah Rohi with me, God shows He is my Shepherd and how He has tenderness and cares for me.
God is faithful to keep me. Jesus said,
“I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd gives His life for the sheep.” (John 10:11)
Not only does Jesus nurture me, He sacrifices to help me, as He did on the Cross and how He now does in interceding for me from His throne. He has already prayed for my faith not to fail. This means I have His victory for all I do in Him. He is always thinking about me.
I will have confidence of Jesus’ ever present care, for He also said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
I praise Him that I am complete in Christ, who is the head of all principality and power. (Colossians 2:10) Determine not to know anything except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.
(1 Corinthians 2:2)
What I am going to try and allow myself to have in 2012 may save my life, peace, beyond understanding, in circumstances so horrendous no-one can understand.
Today has been a simply gorgeous day. Sunny, crystal blue skies and in the upper 40's. And it's been a slow, quiet day. I drove to TR's early in the am and a young man spent considerable time playing with Gracie in the parking lot. She was so excited and simply delighted to have found a man friend to romp with. The wild horses must have arrived in the middle of the night and left before I woke up, but I am sure they are close by.
Mark Horvath again produced an incredible piece on behalf of myself and thousands more homeless people. In 2012 please add Invisible People to your charity of choice.
There has to be someone related to Robert &Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins and get them to return ALL of the money they stole from us so that I can buy a home and get our lives back. I am begging anyone in this family for help.
I don't believe I have EVER witnessed any none violent crime that can be as devastating as stealing someone's home. I am walking in Dorothy McKeevers footsteps, day by day, month by month, year by year.
Liam Griffin, I sat in your law office with two witnesses as you gave me your promise, your guarantee, that our money would be returned before harm came to us.
Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins you were present the day I signed contract with your son. You walked out of the kitchen with Sylve Huckins and your son introduced me to you. He told you that I was the British horse trainer he had told you about, the one he was going to build the home and barn for. Why didn't you say something? There may be a rational and reasonable explanation but I have spent over 3 years, homeless, not understanding it. I understand it even less knowing that though I was a total stranger, both Dorothy McKeever and Sally Canning you KNEW, and you knew what your son had done to them and others.
Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, I contacted you and simply asked for a reference, not knowing that Robert Huckins was your cousin. Robert Huckins had just stolen over $30,000 from the domestic violence shelter, HEAL, yet everyone was trying to hide it. There was a history of stealing large amounts of money. $65,000 PLUS from Nancy Canning. $89,000 PLUS from Dorothy McKeever, $45,000 from Francis McKinney. The list just goes on and on and on.
Because of Robert Huckins I ended up paying $140,000 to be homeless.. sat in the cold, emotionally, physically and financially broke. In the middle of a recession, with no way to recover the stolen funds.
Today Robert Huckins has his own home...
He also has OUR home.....
He also has a lot of people's money...
And his freedom.
Women are not banks or loan institutions. Women should not be the source of a retirement fund for people who don't want to do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. Holding women hostage while playing with the judicial system, a horrendous game of cat and mouse extending YEARS, with the victims whose very homes, families and stability are in jeopardy is cruelty, as cruel as a physical beating. It is financial and emotional RAPE. Homelessness is not justice. It is a slow, painful death.
Please, I beg with everything I have within me, please convince Robert Huckins to stop this torture and return the building fund he stole from us so we too, can have a home.
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul; we may preserve it in the midst of the bitterest pain, if our will remains firm and submissive. Peace in this life springs from acquiescence to, not in an exemption from, suffering. ~ Francois de Fenelon