Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Smoke Free Ruidoso
With the weather going back into the 70's, and a 5-11 mph breeze, my mind and heart has gone back onto my single wide and barn, but with the warm weather returning virtually everyone have found themselves too busy to spend any time helping me.
Last night I had the most bizarre nightmare I have ever had. I dream't that I was so distraught that I couldn't get a home that I took an overdose of Phenylbutozone. The nightmare unsettled me so much I woke up sweating, and the only reason I would have such a horrendous nightmare is the stress of the White Fire, and the loss of 5 homes. It reached me on a subconscious level emotionally. It opened the raw wounds of losing mine, and the struggles I have faced, of being a homeless person watching others lose their homes.
Even after I woke up I kept asking myself why I continued to do the impossible alone, that itself seemed as bizarre as the horror of the nightmare.
By the time I was fully awake I realized that I had no alternative but to keep trying to do what has thus far been the impossible.
Still, I am terribly confused and frustrated how to "kick start" this project, and cannot deny otherwise.
The White Fire still burns but it's left the immediate Ruidoso Downs region so getting updates is very difficult. The local fire departments were pulled off the fire when the hotshots arrived from across the southwest.
We are sincerely appreciative for our local fire departments, and those who have come to help from other area's. Hotshots, emergency personnel and so many others. Even though we cannot "see" the danger it's still very much present, and I pray for those in harms way.
The only real nation is humanity. ~ Paul Farmer