Saturday, April 30, 2011

Snow In May?

The weather forecast for tomorrow shows a chance of snow all the way through Monday. I am simply mortified. With a vegetable garden already planted for my boss this weather is turning into disorganized insanity.

We had such high winds yesterday that I was convinced that nothing would be left standing by dawn. Ruidoso Downs, where the White Fire had cleared growth, was a dense fog of airborne ash and soil.

I have been so deathly ill with violent migraines for the past 2 days, and I don't know what to do to stop them. The usual medication isn't working as my stress level rises. Little things are starting to work me up into a frenzy of panic and anguish. Little things like not winning the lottery, of not being able to get this renovation project started, little things like watching the days turn into months - again - and not see any improvement.

I feel like I have had holes bored into the wall of my stomach. Going to the bank yesterday for my boss had me sitting in the vehicle desperately trying not to be sick, the gagging reflect so bad that being sick was not going to be prevented. I never realized that when your nerves so effect your physical health until I found myself homeless.
I slept so little last night, yet found myself too weak and ill to get up and do something constructive.

By 5am this morning I felt well enough to start marketing stallions, one in particular I wanted to buy and stand before Huckins stole our building fund. I so want my own life back again. I so miss it.

There are enough horse trailers and horses at the racetrack for us to know that the racing season is "just around the corner" but the usual excitement of the summer season has been subdued a great deal for myself even if others continue on as normal. But when you see the nightmarish tragedy across the nation due to the tornadoes normal isn't in the equation for a lot of people

Few is the number who think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts. ~- Albert Einstein