Monday, July 11, 2011

Invisible Fears, Visible Tears

Today the weather started out just gorgeous. Sunny, crystal blue skies.. but by 1 pm the sky darkened and rain clouds came over the Sierra Blanca accompanied by distant thunder. Shortly after 2 pm the rain started, the heaven opening up and it started pouring like an answered prayer. Almost all wildfires are contained but in order to prevent more disasters we need a considerable amount of rain to fall.

Last night was one of the few nights I have been able to sleep without being deathly ill, and sleep through the night uninterrupted. But the very second I opened my eyes before sunrise a migraine flashed into my eyes and chest pains had me crumpled into a heap.

As the day went on my stomach started tying in knots. No one has to convince me that my fears are not unfounded because I have sat outside with no protection from the elements, in weather that could easily kill a human being.

My youngest daughter needed help getting medical attention for the MRSA that seems like a monster out of control. This is just too much stress and the homeless cannot be the mothers and daughters they have been, should be and want to be.

My oldest daughter and I sat discussing "power" and "control" while sat at McDonalds yesterday. While trying to retrieve the building fund in 2008 Sylve Huckins would make quote obvious "jabs".. not subtle hints that could be taken either way, but direct and clear cut comments about our building fund.
And Robert Huckins, well there was simply no dealing with him without having threats and intimidation made against not only myself but my entire family. But the one statement that Robert Huckins made that will remain with me until death is, "I have your building fund. I will not return it and NO-ONE WILL DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT."

I was sat inside my truck and I had hit the DA's phone number during the conversation, so everything said was being recorded on the DA's answering machine as we spoke. "No-one will do anything about it." Words that will go with me to my grave.

Today I have to ask;
"How long is this man going to be allowed to abuse us?" "How many winters do I sleep outside in the cold, trying to come up with the funds to get a $1,000 junk single wide renovated, before someone makes this man return the money for our home that he stole?" "When will someone stop him from destroying my family?"

Yesterday was the deadline for Robert Huckins to pay the least amount to keep him out of jail for 27 years. This isn't the least he can pay but it's the minimum payment he can make without risking being picked up and put in jail for 27 years. When it arrives it's almost an insult when the simple process of getting electricity to the land will cost thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars we already paid. Of course, if no-one makes him pay the entire building fund he won't. Because NOT returning the money retains him the right to control, and inflict misery, and destroy. And he will not give up that willingly. I have not heard from Jan but I'm sure I will see her later this week. Until then I am walking on hot coals wondering about the electricity to our land.

The only thing left for me to do is to plead to the family members of Robert Huckins to intervene. If that be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins. If you would be caring enough, and humane enough to do so, please make your brother, son, cousin return the entire building fund he stole from us so that I can buy a home. I simply can't go on homeless. It is already July 2011 and my nerves are in shambles after over 3 years of hell, that should never have been allowed. I am devastated at the loss of my mother, my career, my home and all I want is what we have paid honest money for - and I beg for your mercy. You can practice deep listening in order to relieve the suffering in us, and in the other person. That kind of listening is described as compassionate listening. You listen only for the purpose of relieving suffering in the other person.~ Thich Nhat Hanh