The day started off about as bad as it could. The damp weather has the same effect on me as rust has to a bolt. When I woke up at sunrise I couldn't move. Someone had replaced my spine and hips with rusted metal. From my neck to my ankles every joint was frozen in place and trying to move became an exercise in frustration. A migraine pounded my head, and my eyes hurt really bad.I absolutely love this rain, but the side effects of sleeping in it I can well do without.
The very last thing I remember last night was feeling so cold. Sneezing and coughing wondering if the pneumonia that I had for months last year had returned with a vengeance. This morning there was no coughing, no sneezing.. just one stiff old lady hobbling around.
I had to go early to Ruidoso. My youngest daughter was released from isolation last week, but it was a bit shock when she sent me a text to tell me that she was here in town. It's been 4 -5 years since we last saw one another, and I have been so worried about her, so it was pretty exciting to know that she had accompanied Julie who had brought her kids back to their father.
I didn't know that a severe case of MRSA could be THIS devastating, this damaging to the human body. We met at TR's store and when she drove up I didn't even recognize my own daughter. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I just wanted to hug her and not let go. Then I wanted to take her home, but I don't have a home to take her to. To watch your 35 year old daughter go through this level of illness is more than a mother's heart can withstand.
We all went to Nogal and lots of photographs were taken. Then we all went to my property. I have never been on the property since last year when the few volunteers I had disappeared with CID on my heels, so I had no idea what to expect. Going there simply reduces me to tears, it's more emotional than I can handle by myself.
As I expected, the high winds had ruined the tin I purchased for the roof. It was scattered everywhere and these are such long and heavy sheets I can't move them by myself. The single wide may have sustained far more damage since CID red tagged me almost a year ago. What started out as a fairly simplistic but extensive restoration project may now be impossible. But it cost me thousands of dollars and how to get it off the land is beyond me. The tarp I put over the trailer is torn to shreds. It was so disheartening...
This was our "dream" home!
My youngest daughter and her friend stood with their mouths open before getting upset, then angry. It's a lot different being told what is happening than actually seeing what is happening, and the reality is traumatic.
A few weeks ago a reader of this blog suggested that I do a Youtube video. At that time I didn't, couldn't, see the advantage of producing a video vs writing a blog. But everyone since then has agreed that it's one thing being "told" the consequences middle age or senior female victims of crime suffer, than actually "seeing" it with ones own eyes. After taking dozens of photographs of my land and barn we returned to Ruidoso and started discussing the Youtube video and my youngest daughters health care. Tomorrow she will return to Missouri and I'm going to be sad to see her go, because I worry so about her. Just spending the day with her made it a very good day today.Jan never did talk to the electrician so this is like looking for chickens teeth, week after week trying to find out what I have to do to get electricity onto this land. I am simply terrified of not being able to get this property liveable before winter and having to face bitter cold weather in freezing temperatures, and as July starts to move towards August panic is setting in.
I will start working on the YouTube video and my first stop will be this blog, the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/homelessness and, here is that frequently used word: Invisible People http://invisiblepeople.tv/blog/
Someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins and persuade Robert Huckins to return ALL of the money he stole from us.I, like those victims who came before me, have been dragged through a living hell and I simply beg for your mercy. No woman should be left homeless because of a criminal who refuses to return the money he stole. I can't obtain a home until Robert Huckins returns the money he stole from us that was to buy a home, and I can't remain homeless and survive. These are absolutes, realities I cannot change. I have tried.
Had he given the money back when he promised the white collar crime investigators I wouldn't be making this plea today. Had he never stolen any money I wouldn't be making this plea today.
But he pushes the abuse and torment to an extent where no alternatives are offered. I am homeless and I want to see my mum and return to my career, I can't be outside through another winter, so I won't stop asking if I have to ask every single day until I die. Robert Huckins gave no-one an alternative, so I plead with sincerity for your mercy and intervention.
Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart, to be truly loving and compassionate, means that we need to be passive, to allow others to abuse us, to smile and let anyone do what they want with us. Yet this is not what is meant by compassion. Quite the contrary. Compassion is not at all weak. It is the strength that arises out of seeing the true nature of suffering in the world. Compassion allows us to bear witness to that suffering, whether it is in ourselves or others, without fear; it allows us to name injustice without hesitation, and to act strongly, with all the skill at our disposal. To develop this mind state of compassion ... is to learn to live, as the Buddha put it, with sympathy for all living beings, without exception.~ Sharon Salzberg
