I woke up at 3 am so cold and damp I could barely move. It felt like every tumor in my body was the size of a golf ball and all my muscles, nerves and tendons had wrapped around the tumors. It has rained most of the night, and clearly it had rained a considerable amount. But I heard not a thing. The temperature was 49 degree's outside, but inside the shed it was in the lower 30's with the foundation soaked in muddy rain water.
It may be wrong, but I detest opening my eyes and seeing a new day. I am even starting to question my faith for all God has to do to stop this inhumanity is.. take me home.
I did what I have done dozens of time, in the dark I walked outside to look at the warm comfortable homes around me. It's an automatic reaction when I am cold and hurting, yet I don't know why. I think a "home" is very different for a woman than a man. To women it's our world. It contains all that is precious. Our families, our memories, our hopes and dreams.
Yesterday I stopped by the Ruidoso News newspaper office to talk to a reporter, and we discussed this endless state of homelessness, then ran some errands for my boss. On Monday it's my grand-daughters birthday so I had to send her birthday present UPS.
My grand-children always want to visit me, but it's hard to visit a garden shed that isn't fit for an animal let alone a human being. Last week my 3 yr old grandson did come up with a resolve about as rational as I have seen thus far.. he was going to "carry" a house to the land because he had grown "so strong." I need the faith and imagination of a child. If only we could restore what has been stolen with such simplicity.
Around 1 pm hail started with a vengeance. It came down fast and furious and continued on for such a long time that water flooded right through this shed ankle deep. All the boxes of my belongings soaked again and I was frantically trying to sweep the water out of the door. Within the hour I didn't have anything left dry. Everything was water logged.
After Tuesday the 2011 racing season will end and the racetrack will close down. It's the separation of seasons for us, the lull between the summer season and the winter ski season that will start on Thanksgiving. But for myself it's a gut wrenching nail biting time for I still have not even heard from the electrician and another homeless winter sat vulnerable to the elements is now a given save a miracle.
There has to be someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins and get them to return ALL of the money they stole from us so that I can buy a home and get our lives back.
I don't believe I have EVER witnessed any none violent crime that can be as devastating as stealing someone's home. I am walking in Dorothy McKeevers footsteps, day by day, month by month, year by year.
Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins you were present the day I signed contract with your son. You walked out of the kitchen with Sylvi Huckins and your son introduced me to you. He told you that I was the British horse trainer he had told you about, the one he was going to build the home and barn for. Why didn't you say something? There may be a rational and reasonable explanation but I have spent over 3 years, homeless, not understanding it. I understand it even less knowing that though I was a total stranger, both Dorothy McKeever and Sally Canning you KNEW.
Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, I contacted you and simply asked for a reference, not knowing that Robert Huckins was your cousin. Robert Huckins had just stolen over $30,000 from the domestic violence shelter, HEAL, yet everyone was trying to hide it. There was a history of stealing large amounts of money. $65,000 PLUS from Nancy Canning. $89,000 PLUS from Dorothy McKeever. The list just goes on and on and on.
Today Robert Huckins has his own home...
He also has OUR home.....
He also has a lot of people's money...
And his freedom.
Women are not banks or loan institutions. Women should not be the source of a retirement fund for people who don't want to do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. Holding women hostage while playing with the judicial system, a horrendous game of cat and mouse extending YEARS, with the victims whose very homes, families and stability are in jeopardy is cruelty, as cruel as a physical beating. It is financial and emotional RAPE. Homelessness is not justice. It is a slow, painful death.
Please, I beg with everything I have within me, please convince Robert Huckins to stop this torture and return the building fund he stole from us so we too, can have a home.
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
