To a nervous breakdown....
Yesterday was such a bad day, such a painful day, that by evening I counted it as an absolute loss. I'm sure that the weather was beautiful, yet I didn't see very much of it. Too ill to get out of bed during the daylight hours, and too stressed to sleep at night wasn't the recipe for fun.
I didn't wake up until after 9 am this morning, which is almost mid-day for me. And even then I woke up wound tighter than a drum, with my heart rate elevated, simply terrified about this unchanging state of homelessness in such dire economic times.
Jan telephoned to tell me the prices of the horses going through the Clovis sale Saturday and it was a heartbreaking situation. But the conversation, as usual, was the means and methods of surviving what could be total destruction. I asked her to pass a message to the electrician that I was really in a panic to get the utilities working on my land.
This has been a slow day, wondering when the rain is going to start falling. A short rainfall came after 4 pm ... but then the sun came out. The rest of the day has been focused on trying to get into a home, wondering what I have not tried in this painful odyssey.
When I came into the shed, because the rain started, I walked into hundreds of flies. This is just too much.
Panic and Anxiety seems to be the diet that is going to kill me. Though I truly try to keep going, hang onto what little I can grasp, even when depression & fear engulf me.
Webster say's:
Definition of STRESS
1
c : a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation d : a state resulting from a stress; especially : one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium 1
Definition of ANXIETY
1
a : painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill b : fearful concern or interest.
Definition of CRUEL
1
: disposed to inflict pain or suffering : devoid of humane feelings cruel tyrant.
2
a : a cruel action b : inhuman treatment
3
: conduct held to endanger life or health or to cause mental suffering or fear
Definition of ABUSE
1
Definition of ABUSE
1
: a corrupt practice or custom
2
: improper or excessive use or treatment : misuse abuse;
3
obsolete : a deceitful act : deception
4
: language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily
5
: physical maltreatment
Definition of ABUSIVE
1
1
: characterized by wrong or improper use or action; especially : corrupt ;abusive financial practices.
2
a : using harsh insulting language abusive crowd; b : characterized by or serving for abuse ;abusive language; c : physically injurious;abusive behavior.
— abu·sive·ly adverb
I can't keep going on the same path Dorothy went on before she died, and I know it. This is simply killing me.
Written by Dorothy McKeevers daughters:
My mother was a victim of Bob Hutchins she worked her whole life to retire in Ruidoso when he cheated her of her dream. He took advantage of her kind heart her trust and she is left with an unfinished home - he walked away with well over 100K. We thought the safety measures were in place the bank 'WAS' to send an inspector for each draw he requested. He would bring an invoice to my mother who is sight impaired and tell her what he had done she would sign and submit to the bank. The bank would send an inspector and release the money to him. Reviewing the paperwork of work he claimed to have completed was fabricated and not even started but there on the bottom of the page was a signature from an inspector - a co-conspirator I can only suspect. She had to return to work in her 70's to pay for other contractors to make the house livable. My stomach turns when I go there and see the hardships she has had to endure and the conditions she has had to live in. I hope you get your due Mr. Huckins - you are a crook. My faith is only in the judicial system that they will successfully convict you and you spend you time behind bars.I doubt that anyone could ever try and say that this isn't abusive and cruel.
****
I am also disgusted with Mr. Huckins...He left my mother with a half built house as stated by Judy Torres my sister. I blame him and the bank for distributing the monies to him when a full inspection was not completed properly. When I asked the bank for the names of the inspectors I was told they could not disclose that information. I did have a signature but of course could not identify any of the letters. And it seems rather odd when all the monies were distributed to Bob the loan officer at the bank was transferred. My mother sits there with a half built house while he is still running around the town and not behind bars.
I have been asked to remove the name of one of the Huckin's family. But they would only give the name as "Anonymous" I'm a little perplexed at what to do. I have had contact with THREE family members either in person, via e-mail or on the telephone. (One member telephoned me ) If the person would like to contact me via my e-mail on this blog, and verify who he/she is, I will be only too happy to discuss this.
Someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins and get them to return ALL of the money they stole from us. I, like those victims who came before me, have been dragged through a living hell and I simply beg for your mercy.
I can't obtain a home until Robert Huckins returns the money he stole from us that was to buy a home, and I can't remain homeless.
Had he given the money back when he promised the white collar crime investigators I wouldn't be making this plea today. Had he never stolen our building fund I wouldn't be making this plea today.
But he pushes the abuse and torment to an extent where no alternatives are offered.
Today Robert Huckins has his own home...
He also has OUR home.....
He also has a lot of people's money...
And his freedom.
No women should be abused to this degree. I am homeless and I want to see my mum and return to my career, so I won't stop asking if I have to ask every single day until I die. Robert Huckins gave no-one an alternative, so I plead with sincerity for your mercy and intervention.
He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
