Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Pain Truth

Last night was an awful restless night. I remained so ill all I could manage to do was drift in and out of sleep, and by 3 am I could no longer find any relief in bed. I got up and sat on the edge of the bed unable to sleep, yet unable to wake up either.
I can't even count the times I have read that damp doesn't effect bone joints, but you couldn't prove it by me. The damp and mold inside the shed is stifling. The smell simply awful. And the cold almost crippling. The migraine that turned into a monster of gigantic proportion yesterday had subsided to a dull throb, but my stomach was still on a roller coaster ride somewhere.

Just sitting on the side of the bed gave me the time to try and digest conversations I missed yesterday. Two weeks before the racetrack closes? Time has simply flown. This time last year I was so excited thinking that I would have a beaten up single wide to live in before winter. The year before that I was begging for help to try and find a modular or get a roof put on the barn. This year? I have no hope at all. No expectations. I'm too tired, depressed and ill to dare have any hope anymore.

No-one has ever explained to me what happens after you give up daring to have hope.

I spent the afternoon trying to find anything that would come with owner-financing, but with no credit bank financing isn't an option. I still don't even know if I have enough finances to get the electricity working. For the money Robert Huckins stole I could have a gorgeous one story wooden cabin - and have it before the winter weather arrives. But I have been begging for that to materialize since 2008.

I am terrified of spending one more winter homeless.. just mortified. All of this pain, all of this suffering, this cruelty, all of this inhumanity.. for greed.

There has to be someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins and get them to return ALL of the money they stole from us so that I can buy a home and get our lives back.
I don't believe I have EVER witnessed any none violent crime that can be as devastating as stealing someone's home. I am walking in Dorothy McKeevers f
ootsteps, day by day, month by month, year by year.

Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins you were present the day I signed contract with your son. You walked out of the kitchen with Sylvi Huckins and your son introduced me to you. He told you that I was the British horse trainer he had told you about, the one he was going to build the home and barn for. Why didn't you say something? There may be a rational and reasonable explanation but I have spent over 3 years, homeless, not understanding it. I understand it even less knowing that though I was a total stranger, both Dorothy McKeever and Sally Canning you KNEW.

Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, I contacted you and simply asked for a reference, not knowing that Robert Huckins was your cousin. Robert Huckins had just stolen over $30,000 from the domestic violence shelter, HEAL, yet everyone was trying to hide it. There was a history of stealing large amounts of money. $65,000 PLUS from Nancy Canning. $89,000 PLUS from Dorothy McKeever. The list just goes on and on and on.

Women are not banks or loan institutions. Women should not be the source of a retirement fund for people who don't want to do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. Holding women hostage while playing with the judicial system, a horrendous game of cat and mouse extending YEARS, with the victims whose very homes, families and stability are in jeopardy is cruelty, as cruel as a physical beating. It is financial and emotional RAPE. Homelessness is not justice. It is a slow, painful death.

Today Robert Huckins has his own home...
He also has OUR home.....
He also has a lot of people's money...
And his freedom.

Please, I beg with everything I have within me, please convince Robert Huckins to stop this torture and return the building fund he stole from us so we too, can have a home.

Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts. ~Aristotle