Sunday, March 4, 2012

Exhaustion Overtook Me

This was a simply gorgeous morning but I awoke very ill, and spent an hour trying to get a violent migraine half way under control while the dogs happily played.

My mind immediately went to the thousands of families affected by the tornadoes. Families whose heartbreak will be overwhelming, my heart and thoughts are with today.

My ex-boss phoned wanting the lottery numbers but seeing as he didn't call back I assumed that he hadn't won millions of dollars.. I hate to be the one to tell him the truth. One has a better chance of dying than winning the lottery. *Sigh*

Sundays are usually very quiet for me. Today I had to come up with any means to buy inventory for an on-line store ~ which is tantamount to winning the lottery. Yet I am in pain and exhausted.

This exhausted is difficult to put into words. Four years of homelessness, living in awful conditions, leaves so little left emotionally, physically or psychologically, as if you have tread water for such a long time that you start to wonder if going under would be a relief..

I know that I must be in a home ~ and quickly ~ if I am to survive and get a semblance of financial security, or even see my mother alive again . I know that with spring coming closer I must get in gear, yet again. The fourth year of trying to recoup the losses and gain some stability. Yet I am so tired and defeated all I want to do is lay down and go to sleep.

tr.v. de·feat·ed, de·feat·ing, de·feats
1. To win victory over; beat.
2. To prevent the success of; thwart: Internal strife defeats the purpose of teamwork.
3. Law To make void; annul.
1. The act of defeating or state of being defeated.
2. Failure to win.
3. A coming to naught; frustration: the defeat of a lifelong dream.
4. Law The act of making null and void.

The only thing stopping me from restoration, from day one..... has been financial. The money that was stolen and is hidden from sight. In 4 years of trying everything humanly possible I have yet to find the way to go on without that money. And no way to earn such an amount in a recession.

By 11.30 am I was sat looking at the computer, my mind totally blanked out, with a horrible migraine pounding away. How to raise money is the hardest question anyone could ever be expected to answer. How to raise it so I can get into a home is especially hard.

This is going to be another day I vegetate and try to think of ways to do the impossible. It's a gorgeous day. Up into the mid 60's, beautifully sunny with a crystal blue sky..

But I need a home.
There has to be someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins and get them to return ALL of the money they stole from us so that I can buy a home and get our lives back. I am begging anyone in this family for help.

I don't believe I have EVER witnessed any none vio
lent crime that can be as devastating as stealing someone's home. I am walking in Dorothy McKeevers footsteps, day by day, month by month, year by year.

Liam Griffin, I sat in your law office with two witnesses as you gave me your promise, your guarantee, that our money would be returned before harm came to us.

Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins you were present the day I signed contract with your son. You walked out of the kitchen with Sylve Huckins and your son introduced me to you. He told you that I was the British horse trainer he had told you about, the one he was going to build the home and barn for. Why didn't you say something? There may be a rational and reasonable explanation but I have spent over 3 years, homeless, not understanding it. I understand it even less knowing that though I was a total stranger, both Dorothy McKeever and Sally Canning you KNEW, and you knew what your son had done to them and others.

Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, I contacted you and simply asked f
or a reference, not knowing that Robert Huckins was your cousin. Robert Huckins had just stolen over $30,000 from the domestic violence shelter, HEAL, yet everyone was trying to hide it. There was a history of stealing large amounts of money. $65,000 PLUS from Nancy Canning. $89,000 PLUS from Dorothy McKeever, $45,000 from Francis McKinney. The list just goes on and on and on.
Because of Robert Huckins I ended up paying
$140,000 to be homeless.. sat in the cold, emotionally, physically and financially broke. In the middle of a recession, with no way to recover the stolen funds.

Today Robert Huckins has his own home...
He also has OUR home.....
He also has a lot of people's money...
And his freedom.

Women are not banks or loan institutions. Women should not be the source of a retirement fund for people who don't want to do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. Holding women hostage while playing with the judicial system, a horrendous game of cat and mouse extending YEARS, with the victims whose very homes, families and stability are in jeopardy is cruelty, as cruel as a physical beating. It is financial and emotional RAPE. Homelessness is not justice. It is a slow, painful death.
Please, I beg with everything I have within me, pl
ease convince Robert Huckins to stop this torture and return the building fund he stole from us so we too, can have a home.

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The only source of knowledge is experience~ Albert Einstein