Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Invisibility 101

The migraine that had plagued me all day yesterday continued on to plague me all night. I couldn't find any medication to ease the pain, and couldn't work on the web site, so I tried to sleep.

I'm unsure if the tossing and turning trying to get comfortable, or the drastic change in weather, going from spring like temperatures back to winter weather, started the bone tumors from the Bassel-Hagens disease hurting. By 2.30 am every joint in my body felt like it was being ripped out. I was in excruciating pain.

At one point I tried to push the hair out of my eyes and felt the wet on my face, and realized that tears were running down my face even though I wasn't consciously crying. The pain was so bad each time I tried to move more tears flowed. I ended up going back to sleep for 2 hours before waking up to a beautiful morning.

The dogs got into a runkus over a piece of bread and that set my ex-boss into a tizzy. Trying to find a way to support a convicted felon and get a home for us is heartbreaking. My dogs don't have a yard to play in, I can't train without a barn, and I have not seen my mother since 2007.
I am so ill that I honestly and truly want the Lord to take me home, because a home on this earth seems to be the impossible dream - or nightmare in my case.

Even though I never intended to go back to sleep in the middle of the day I couldn't stand the pain of trying to keep mobile, and before noon I had to try to go back to sleep to get away from the pain. The pain wouldn't let me sleep, and all day I could barely walk without tears streaming down my face.

All I have ever wanted is our own home, on our own land, my career and my family. Nothing more. Nothing less. I certainly don't deserve to be homeless, deathly ill in so much pain, trying to scratch for a few dollars to keep my head above water, while I support a convicted felon.

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Covered with a fake beard and touches of makeup, former New Jersey Gov. Richard Codey, became Jimmy Peters, a homeless Newark man.

Accompanied by a social worker to get him into an emergency one-night stay, Codey -- now serving in now serving as a state senator -- showed up to the Goodwill Mission just before 9 p.m. Monday to survey the conditions of the homeless shelter where he would spend the night, MSNBC reports.

He slept on the mattress on the floor, a luxury many homeless weren't afforded that night.

"To find a place to take you if you're homeless was impossible essentially," Codey told the news source, "unless you're on some government entitlement program."

Codey found the most trouble came from telling the shelters he had just been released from a psychiatric ward of a local hospital. In those instances he was almost immediately denied -- as is the case for real mentally ill homeless men.

Robert Davidson, executive director of the Essex County Mental Health Association cited a study from the Corporation of Supportive Housing which showed that nearly 90 percent of the New Jersey's homeless population suffer from a mental illness, reports.

"The system does everything it can to divert that person from getting service," Davidson told MSNBC. "It's absurd."

The Goodwill Mission is working on making updates to their services, and are adding beds and emergency shelter options in the next few months, MSNBC reports.

To support efforts to fight homelessness in your area, find information at the National Coalition for the Homeless.
What will it take for me to stop being invisible to the well heeled, socially prominent Ogilvie-Huckin family, who have no idea what homelessness is? And why do we, in the richest country in the world, allow women to be abused so? Are we not human beings?

Bobby Joe Peace, Sergeant Major (Ret) US Army Special Forces wrote this song to raise awareness about the ever growing problem of homelessness in America. To simply ignore them, is to pretend they are "invisible".

Old And Sick Living In Her Car, Determined Homeless Woman Needs A Real Address

Giselle McDonald has been scraping for decades on her own, camping out in her battered Ford Escort, washing her hair in San Jose's public restrooms and doing just fine, thank you very much.

But now, the frail 74-year-old has stomach cancer and lymphoma, life-threatening conditions that have left her a withered 92 pounds. Without a permanent place to live, McDonald cannot get the critical treatments that could save her life. Instead, night after night, alone in her car, she struggles to withstand waves of pain and nausea.

"I can't keep anything down anymore," she says, refusing an offer of water, which she says is too "harsh" for her tender stomach.

Looped around her car's turn signal are a half-dozen white hospital identification bracelets. That way, if she "conks out," the police will know she's ill, not high on drugs or alcohol.

McDonald's best chance of surviving the cancers is to get chemotherapy three times a week for 4 1/2 months, according to her oncologist at Santa Clara Valley Medical Center. But she must have a stable living space because the treatment can render patients weak and violently ill.

Alerted to McDonald's plight by a VMC social worker via email, advocates for the homeless are scrambling to find housing for her in Santa Clara County. But even in the 19th richest county, McDonald is just the tip of the iceberg. When homeless people are extremely needy and are also willing to help themselves, like

she is, they often still can't get assistance from a dedicated social service system that simply lacks precious resources.

"The waiting lists are miles long," said David Cox, executive director of St. Joseph's Family Center in Gilroy.

Hard core homeless

Last month, the county and the city of San Jose -- in collaboration with Destination: Home, a public-private partnership seeking to end chronic homelessness -- approved funding to house and provide supportive services to about 120 chronically homeless, disabled people like McDonald.

Advocates say the strategy is less expensive than paying for homeless shelters and frequent visits to hospital emergency rooms, inpatient psychiatric services and jails. San Francisco's Housing First program reports it has reduced the cost of homeless safety net services from $61,000 a year per homeless person to $16,000 for those who receive housing. Santa Clara County, under a motion by Supervisor Mike Wasserman, will study in the coming year whether its new program saves money or not.

The Santa Clara County Housing Authority, which already helps about 2,000 homeless people annually, also plans to set aside an additional 108 vouchers at the request of local advocates.

But it may take awhile to get the vouchers into circulation -- too long for McDonald in her race against cancer. In the meantime, every day is an ordeal. Her car is so crammed with blankets, clothing and books that she has to sleep sitting up. Her trunk leaks and the funky smell of mold makes her gag.

But the last thing McDonald wants is pity. Yes, she's had a hard life, but she will proudly tell anyone that she's always managed on her own -- until now. Born in northern Germany, she spent her early difficult years in an orphanage and survived an abusive foster home.

"My biggest problem is dealing with people,'' she says. "I cannot trust anyone.''

She moved to New York in 1961 with an American serviceman she planned to marry, but the couple soon broke up. In 1968, she landed in Menlo Park at the invitation of a former co-worker. At first, she had no trouble finding work -- as a secretary or bookkeeper. But by her own admission, she was so hyper she couldn't hold onto a job.

Then she was hit by a truck in 1984, which left her partially paralyzed. "That's when," she said, "it all went downhill."

Difficult year

Surviving on a tiny disability check, she lived in a van for more than a decade. It wasn't a bad life, she says. There were her precious cats -- both feral and domesticated, whom she fed and cuddled. She pored over how-to books and relished teaching herself skills that ranged from knitting to plumbing.

At one point, she moved into a subsidized studio unit for the disabled. But after being chastised for filling the room with boxes of stuff she'd been keeping in storage, she moved out -- vowing to remain independent for the rest of her life.

Now she has endured about all she can take since she learned the bad news about her health about a year ago. She's tried to hold onto her solitude and use as little pain medication as possible.

"My mind is my best asset,'' she says. "I can climb out of the worst hell if my mind is clear.''

But this particular hell is too much, even for her. Much as it pains her, she says she needs help.

"My whole life has been nothing but stress, and I'm tired,'' she says, her ivory face briefly streaming with tears. "I want to have some peace and calm."

What she's hoping for is a one-bedroom place she can bring Precious, M'Honey, Missy and Butterball, her four cats, who are staying at a fellow cat lover's house. She needs the space because she'll have to be nursed through chemo by an attendant, whose salary will be paid for through in-home supportive services.

Like a child hoping for mercy, she promises she won't fill her home this time with the things she's kept stored all these years. And although she deeply regrets making "the many mistakes" that have led her to this situation, even on the worst nights, she hasn't given up hope things will work out.

"I'm like a bulldog -- tenacious," McDonald said. "I have my teeth into life; I won't let go."

There has to be someone related to Robert & Sylve Huckins must have some means to reach them, if it be Michael Huckins, Dr.Kenneth Ogilvie ( Diana Huckins? Dominic Huckins? Malcolm Huckins? ) or Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins and get them to return ALL of the money they stole from us so that I can buy a home and get our lives back. I am begging anyone in this family for help.

I don't believe I have EVER witnessed any none vio
lent crime that can be as devastating as stealing someone's home. I am walking in Dorothy McKeevers footsteps, day by day, month by month, year by year.

Liam Griffin, I sat in your law office with two witnesses as you gave me your promise, your guarantee, that our money would be returned before harm came to us.

Patricia Ogilvie-Huckins you were present the day I signed contract with your son. You walked out of the kitchen with Sylve Huckins and your son introduced me to you. He told you that I was the British horse trainer he had told you about, the one he was going to build the home and barn for. Why didn't you say something? There may be a rational and reasonable explanation but I have spent over 3 years, homeless, not understanding it. I understand it even less knowing that though I was a total stranger, both Dorothy McKeever and Sally Canning you KNEW, and you knew what your son had done to them and others.

Dr. Kenneth Ogilvie, I contacted you and simply asked f
or a reference, not knowing that Robert Huckins was your cousin. Robert Huckins had just stolen over $30,000 from the domestic violence shelter, HEAL, yet everyone was trying to hide it. There was a history of stealing large amounts of money. $65,000 PLUS from Nancy Canning. $89,000 PLUS from Dorothy McKeever, $45,000 from Francis McKinney. The list just goes on and on and on.
Because of Robert Huckins I ended up paying
$140,000 to be homeless.. sat in the cold, emotionally, physically and financially broke. In the middle of a recession, with no way to recover the stolen funds.

Today Robert Huckins has his own home...
He also has OUR home.....
He also has a lot of people's money...
And his freedom.

Women are not banks or loan institutions. Women should not be the source of a retirement fund for people who don't want to do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. Holding women hostage while playing with the judicial system, a horrendous game of cat and mouse extending YEARS, with the victims whose very homes, families and stability are in jeopardy is cruelty, as cruel as a physical beating. It is financial and emotional RAPE. Homelessness is not justice. It is a slow, painful death.
Please, I beg with everything I have within me, pl
ease convince Robert Huckins to stop this torture and return the building fund he stole from us so we too, can have a home.

Relevant pages:

hite-nothing-but-white.htmlThe authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn. ~ Cicero