Friday, November 26, 2010

Take A Deep Breath....

Yesterday I was simply overtaken with sleeping sickness. Everyone was working but myself. As the thermometer dropped early in the day I curled up in bed and watched a movie trying to keep warm. And there started an inability to keep my eyes open or even think clearly.

It's a frustrating feeling when it's too cold to be up and around. The shivering exhausts and the human body or mind doesn't seem to be designed to work under a certain temperature. By midnight it was 6 degree's outside and well under 0 degrees in this metal shed.

Rio and Copper started pawing me periodically. Their need to go outside prevented me from sleeping the entire day, their need to play woke me up a little and pulled me out of a cloudy sleepyhead state. But I was far from mentally or physically functional.

By 2.30 am I woke up and forced myself to stay up, determined to pull myself out of this fog.
My 9 yr old grand-daughter decided that she didn't want Christmas presents this year, she wanted to spend Christmas with me instead. It's very hard to explain to a 9 yr old that you neither have a vehicle that you can travel in, nor the finances to stop working and walk away from a building project. I simply have too much on my plate. The same plate I was holding 3 years ago.

In 2008 she came to Ruidoso for the summer. Plans that had been made while believing that Robert Huckins would have our home finished by July. Airline tickets that had been purchased in advance. It was an awful year and we did everything possible to make sure she had fun, but it certainly was a rough time.
Before she went home I was engulfed in the process of trying to find where Robert & Sylvi Huckins have hidden the money, white collar crime investigators were getting ready to arrest Robert Huckins for the third time, 2 year old Sean died of leukemia, I was living in a metal garden shed instead of a home so my mother couldn't come back to see the home she had purchased by selling her home in England. Chaos reigned.

I promised her to try and turn everything around so I can be in a home before this coming summer - then she can come and stay with me, but I know better than make clad iron guarantees.

There have been so many people hurt in this situation. My grand-children, my mother, myself.. Dorothy, so many people. All victims of a judicial system that had no desire to stop one couple from destroying the lives of others.

I understand how Dorothy's McKeevers daughters must have felt watching their mother go through this hell, because I see the same in mine. Financially unable to help, frantically trying to find help, frustration that this has been allowed and no help in sight.

Everyone has the answer to the problem but the answers keep changing depending on what excuses can justifying ignoring a situation. John said that he bumped into a local builder a few weeks ago. The builder made the comment that "someone must help that poor woman, but I was told that she doesn't have the money for building material." John responded, "Well, she has an old single wide and building material and not ONE person other than Jesse and I are offering to help."

So perhaps the answer has changed in the past year. Maybe it no longer has anything to do with the availability of building material. Lord help me, it could be anything by now. I have heard it all.

For right now my grand-daughter will have to make do with a new saddle... though there has been a great deal of discussion about whether she wanted a new western saddle or an English saddle and she chose the former... what a traitor.It's easier to wear the buckle than ride the bull - Billy L.Young