Friday, November 19, 2010

Life On The Edge....

Yesterday evening I spoke to John, who says that he is coming to Ruidoso with the welder this week-end. Seeing as he cannot work on the trailer until we get a roof on it, and we need to use the material we already have on hand, we are going to start putting in the pipe framework for the barn roof. Today I need to buy enough concrete to set the pipe, but with the scheduled monthly payments from Robert Huckins being so low it's really putting me on an unworkable budget. I am biting my lips with worry and frustration.
I have not heard a word from Jesse so I'm not too sure what is happening with the trailer roof..perhaps Mike will help him when he surfaces, which will probably be after Thanksgiving.

Most days I go shopping for my boss, it may only be a few items, or a considerable amount. I keep a close eye on what needs are needing to be met, especially when it comes to people fighting life jeopardizing illnesses. A few weeks ago I noticed a flier about one little boy near Carlsbad who needs an operation to save his life, and I phoned the number given to ask if the fund raisers could put out donation cans to make giving easier.
No-one cannot do without prayers, but God has asked us to give, and I have found it somewhat easy to get a regular schedule of giving in place. I don't care who you are, or what your circumstances are, you simply cannot turn away from a child. I can't.

But when one starts to look at the number of children who need the support of a community to have a memorable Christmas it becomes a bit overwhelming. It's especially stressful because I need to focus on putting a roof over my head, getting into a home.
I walked into the school with an electric Christmas train for my daughter and watched the kids eyes light up and go as round as saucers, and wondered how many would have a Christmas this year. Just looking at their faces.. and it was a done deal.

I phoned both daughters to find out what the grandchildren wanted. 5 grand-children seem like 50 at Christmas, but we really get together and plan carefully to make sure that all needs are met - and they always have been. Then I drove to the Lazy J Running TB's & QH's and discussed the trail rides with Jan wondering if it was going to be possible to get a fund raising trail ride going quickly. Mike will be collecting money for Toys For Tots and TR's have made it possible to donate on a regular basis to Toys For Tots. Pete & Cheryl collect toys for children in need at the Alto Cafe. There are so many depending on people to just... well, give financial support.

I know that even with the stress of trying to finance my trailer my eyes are going to go towards the children who may have needs.. my eyes follow my heart, and it's impossible for me to be anyone but myself. Maybe I'll have to delay buying 50% of the material Jesse needs but.. oh, well.. what is one more delay after the delays I have already experienced.

I spent hours looking for two items for my boss. A special pan for poaching eggs and a nut cracker. I must have gone to every single store in Lincoln County looking for two items without success. How can you NOT find a poaching pan in Lincoln County?
My last stop was the health food store, who advised me to go to "Hearts Delight" in mid-town. I was thrilled to find both items, super quality items, in a store that really is the hearts delight. It was fabulous in there.

Locals rarely go shopping in mid-town. I can't even remember the last time I went shopping in mid-town for myself. I don't think I ever have. But I could have spent hours inside "Hearts Delight." What a smashing store. For people, like myself, who love to cook and bake, whose kitchens are a special place of warmth, this store is heaven on earth.

Oh, to have a home and have a nice kitchen.

I suddenly became overwhelmed with homesickness for my own home, my own kitchen. The smell of roasts and baking. Years past. It all seems long ago and far away.. far out of my reach. I almost started crying when I got back in my truck, fearing that I would never see "normal" again. I really had to fight the tears all the way back to Alto.

Prayerfully we can get something constructive done this week-end, when the weather is supposed to be a whole lot warmer than we have experienced this past week. That thought gives me some hope on a bitter cold morning.

The judge is condemned when the criminal is absolved. -Publilius Syrus